1. This proposal outlines a suggested [k3: inaccurate word choice] proposed project entitled “An interesting [k5: capitalization error] Interesting History”, to be funded by the recently awarded grant. /This proposal outlines a proposed project entitled "An Interesting History" to be funded by a recently awarded grant./
2. The initiative is intended to support activities that fall outside the scope of the regular school curriculum and offers [k4: parallelism – use infinitive after “is intended to”] to offer meaningful development opportunities for students. /The initiative is designed to support activities beyond the regular curriculum and to offer meaningful development opportunities for students./
3. The idea is both relevant and timely, as it addresses current needs and interests within our school community.
4. Firstly [k1: style – prefer ‘First’ in formal sequencing] First, the project will focus on historical Literacy [k5: capitalization error] literacy, secondly, [k5: syntax – comma splice/run-on] ; second, it will involve exhibitions and excursions in [k4: wrong preposition] to famous historical museums [k3: unnatural collocation] history museums. /First, the project will focus on historical literacy; second, it will include exhibitions and excursions to famous history museums./
5. The primary objectives are to increase students to learn [k4: wrong verb pattern + k3: unnatural collocation] to encourage students to learn history not only at school, [k5: punctuation – no comma in “not only … but also”] but also beyond it [k3: redundancy] beyond school. /The primary objectives are to encourage students to learn history not only at school but also beyond school./
6. Participants will include all students in the city [k2: scope/feasibility unclear] students from our school, and the project will be coordinated by the each museum staff [k4: wrong article + incorrect possessive form] by each museum’s staff. /Participants will be students from our school, and coordination will be provided by each museum’s staff./
7. Speaking about the place [k1: style – awkward discourse marker] Regarding the venue, to implement the projects [k4: number agreement] project effectively, it will be needed an area [k4: incorrect word order/impersonal construction] we will need a space where a big amount of students [k4: wrong quantifier for countable nouns] a large number of students can be situated [k3: unnatural collocation] accommodated. /Regarding the venue, we will need a space that can accommodate a large number of students./
8. Basically [k1: style – too informal] In essence, experts [k2: unclear referent – specify the role] instructors will need an audio-visual equipment [k4: wrong article + uncountable noun] audio-visual equipment and an individual book [k3: inaccurate word choice] a workbook for each student.
9. Our event [k3: inaccurate word choice] The programme will last three months.
10. The personnel will consist of guess [k5: spelling] guest speakers and tour guides.
11. This project is expected to provide both short-term and long-term benefits.
12. It will enrich historical experience [k3: missing possessive/clarity] students’ historical experience, beyond academic learning [k2: unclear attachment/position] beyond classroom learning, increase awareness of the past and, also, [k5: punctuation – superfluous commas + k3: redundancy] also help students to find out [k3: informal phrasal verb] discover something new about the history [k3: wordiness + wrong article] new aspects of history and promote parriotism [k5: spelling] patriotism. /It will enrich students’ historical experience beyond classroom learning, increase awareness of the past, help students discover new aspects of history, and promote patriotism./
13. In conclusion, the proposed project represents a valuable and feasible use of the grant.
14. It aligns with the school’s commitment to holistic student development and community engagement.
15. I respectfully recommend the administration’s support and approval of this initiative.
Anglo-Saxons
1) Anglo-Saxon settlement shows Rome’s policy of using Germanic troops to protect borders.
2) Anglo-Saxon culture was less influenced [k4: wrong tense – should indicate limited influence in the past] was little influenced by Rome due to their northern origins.
3) Roman culture was slowly replaced by Germanic settlers.
4) Romans assimilated via marriage, slavery or adopting Anglo-Saxon culture. [k4: wrong subject-verb logic + k2: unclear agent] Romans were assimilated through marriage, slavery, or by adopting Anglo-Saxon culture.
5) England’s slowed by naval resistance and limited settlers. [k4: wrong contraction + k4: wrong tense/form] England’s expansion was slowed by naval resistance and the limited number of settlers.
6) Anglo-Saxon settlers was [k4: wrong subject-verb agreement] settlers were hardened, armed mainly with spears; tribes had swords and decorated weapons.
7) It represented tribal culture and independence.
8) Other areas influenced [k4: wrong voice – should be passive] were influenced by Anglo-Saxons.
9) Angles, Saxons and Jutes were North Sea Germanic tribes that formed early English society.
Having been from northern Germany and Denmark rather than the southern regions that had prolonged contact with the Roman Empire. [k5: sentence fragment – lacks main clause + k4: awkward participial construction (“Having been” misused to describe subject origin)] They came from northern Germany and Denmark rather than from the southern regions that had prolonged contact with the Roman Empire. // Originating from northern Germany and Denmark rather than from the southern regions long influenced by Rome, they developed a culture less affected by Roman rule.
...
7) Parties, being fought [k4: wrong verbal form + k4: wrong voice. And you actually don't need perfect participles here, since the actions coexist int he past] having fought on a low material level, involved fewer than a thousand people on either side. // better: Fighting on a low material level, the parties involved fewer than a thousand people on either side.
8) Being not powerful enough to rule Britain or England as a whole, some of the most successful would take the title of king
9) Being peacefully replaced by Cymru, their own term for themselves was Brythoniaid.
...
They said that they could raise the kin, he said the nation must have done it. [k5: run-on sentence – two independent clauses joined incorrectly + k3: inaccurate word choice (“raise the kin” unclear)] They said that they could raise their relatives, and he added that the nation must have done it.
He said that the Romans had met with Germans.
The monk explained that the former emperor’s celebration had already been prepared in a palace.
He told that he was among the new parties involved, purpose trials of law, invasion policy and legislation. [k4: wrong reporting verb + k2: lack of coherence + k3: unclear phrase (“purpose trials of law”)] He said that he was among the new officials involved in legal trials, invasion policy, and legislation.
The speaker explained that the proposed power of law had grown from local investigations that had been influenced by foreign rule.
He said that the new king’s ancestry would make Romans think they had achieved a kind of miracle when he survived.
The man added that the right to land should be shared in common use by citizens and, for some time, had been treated as common property.
He said that Britain had become a land full of great houses.
...
Lord Elyot claimed that Rome’s traditions of property were still alive in their society.
He said that it had started from the day when people accepted written law.
The historian noted that most documents had come from the local assemblies.
The old lawyer told that the whole world had been influenced by Roman law. [k4: wrong reporting verb – “told” requires an object] The old lawyer said that the whole world had been influenced by Roman law.
He explained that later the same rule had been used* in monasteries.
* - Past Perfect (“had been used”) → better for retrospective commentary (emphasizing completion).
- Past Simple (“was used”) → better for historical narration (emphasizing sequence).
He said that the country had still followed [k4: wrong aspect – continuity up to that point] was still following the system of governance introduced by the Romans.
He added that local tribes had used [k4: wrong tense – Past Perfect implies earlier action, but here both actions are parallel] used similar methods for law enforcement.
He said that ,overall, the combination of Roman and tribal systems made English law unique. [Good of you! In spite of the presence of a past reporting verb 'said', we want to underline the lasting (актуальный в настоящем) effect of the action]
He reminded that the British Church had survived the invasion and was later united with Roman Christianity. [k4: wrong reporting verb – “remind” requires an object] He reminded them/ the audience that the British Church had survived the invasion and was later united with Roman Christianity.
He said that the unification of religion made people feel part of one nation.
The historian concluded that after the invasions, the language, law, and faith of Britain had formed a special identity.
The historian concluded that after the invasions, the language, law, and faith of Britain had formed a special identity.
He said that this identity was not purely Roman or Germanic but included elements of both. [k4: demonstrative choice – “this” retained instead of “that” for anaphoric reference to the immediately mentioned identity in the previous sentence]
He added that it was the beginning of the English character.
The Norman Conquest
I was the reachest [k5: wrong spelling] richest earl in Britain, I was the wealthiest nobleman in the realm…who had been living [k4: wrong tense] had lived a peaceful life, when suddenly Normans [k4: wrong zero article] the Normans conquered our country.
I had been living a peaceful life as one of Britain’s wealthiest nobles when the Normans abruptly swept in and seized the country.
The Norman victory led to a dishonest distribution [k3: unnatural collocation] an unjust redistribution of the land, which made their leader William the largest [k3: inaccurate word choice] greatest landowner, even larger [k3: inaccurate word choice] wealthier than me, so I became first landowner after William [k3: unnatural phrasing] the second-largest landowner after him; that is why he invited me to his palace.
After the conquest, land was carved up in William’s favour, making him the biggest landholder in the realm; I ranked second, which is precisely why I was summoned to court.
When I came there, guards grabbed my hands [k3: unnatural collocation] seized my arms and led me to William’s room.
On my arrival, guards seized me by the arms and marched me straight into William’s chamber.
I looked around and saw a lot of things that the warriors from William’s army had [taken] away by force [k3: unnatural collocation] seized by force from my acquaintances [k3: inaccurate word choice] allies and friends, as well as from people whose lands had previously been in my possession.
The room was crammed with trophies—goods William’s men had seized from my allies and friends, and from those who had once lived under my protection.
William came out a few minutes later. He firstly [k1: style—use more neutral wording] first asked me and the people under my ownership [k3: unnatural collocation] under my protection to leave our land [k3: inaccurate word choice] leave our estates, leaving all the food, clothes, furniture and animals in the houses.
He demanded that I and those under my protection abandon our estates, leaving behind every last possession—even livestock and stores of food.
I said no, but with obsessive feeling [k3: unnatural collocation] with an overwhelming feeling that there is only the tip of the iceberg [k4: tense + k3: unnatural phrasing in context] this was only the beginning. Unfortunately, I was right.
I refused, yet a heavy certainty settled in my chest: this was only the beginning. Sadly, I was right.
He threatened me that if his orders were not obeyed, he would kill all my family, not even sparing the children, send [k4: parallel structure—missing “to” + k4: tense consistency] and send his army for our food and clothes, and we would have no choice except of [k4: wrong preposition] Ø running and stay alive [k4: parallel structure] to run and stay alive or stay on our territory but be killed.
He swore that if we disobeyed, he would slaughter my family—even the children—strip our homes, and leave us only two options: flee and survive, or remain and die.
I said that I would talk to my people. It was clear that the people [k3: inaccurate word choice] my people would want to fight, but the chance of losing was very high.
I promised to consult my people; they would want to resist, but our odds were grim.
All night long, we were discussing our plan of actions [k3: unnatural collocation] course of action with the heads of the cities that were under my domain [k3: inaccurate word choice] lordship.
Through the night, I met with town leaders across my lordship to agree on a course of action.
The will of the king must be obeyed, yet a man’s duty to his kin cannot be lightly set aside. I proposed a crazy and dangerous, but the only right solution in our opinion [k1: style—wordiness] Ø.
A king’s will may demand obedience, yet duty to one’s kin cannot simply be cast aside. I proposed a reckless plan—dangerous, but the only viable one.
I went to William early in the morning to give up, as he could [illegible] [k2: missing key meaning / incomplete structure] as he had demanded.
At dawn I went to surrender—exactly as he had demanded.
As soon as the gates to his palace opened, the screams of the crowd began to be heard [k3: unnatural phrasing] rose. People invaded the castle, captured William’s entire army, brought them to the main hall and demanded William to free [k4: wrong verb pattern] that William free their lands, or William will [k4: wrong tense in conditional threat] would be killed soon.
The moment the gates swung open, the crowd’s roar surged. They stormed the castle, overwhelmed William’s men, dragged them into the great hall, and demanded that he restore the lands—otherwise, he would be killed.
You should have written about your life after that moment!
Video review
The video is about a man who had a dangerous disease-[k5: syntax] —polio. He must have died [k4: wrong modal meaning- "must have died"="скорее всего умер"] was supposed to die / should have died, but this guy has lived in the metal box [k3: inaccurate word choice] a metal chamber for 71 years. During his life, he learnt [k4: wrong tense] learned how to breath [k5: wrong spelling] breathe like a frog to be able to move himself [k1: factual error! he can't move] how to type on a computer keyboard and even travel. Also, this man wrote his own book of [k3: unnatural collocation] a book about his unordinary [k3: inaccurate word choice] extraordinary life.
The video tells the story of a man who contracted polio and went on to live in a metal chamber for 71 years, later mastering “frog breathing,” travelling, and writing a book about his extraordinary life.
I suppose that the creator’s idea was to show people that the disease is not an option of not doing anything [k3: unnatural phrasing] illness is not a reason to give up. The man was paralized [k5: wrong spelling] paralyzed, but he was mentally strong enough to overcome this condition and live a fulfilled life, while ordinary people can waste time on nothing and afterall [k5: wrong spelling] after all blame a fate [k4: wrong article + k3: unnatural collocation] fate for their failures. Also, people often complain about different conditions that prevent everything, [k3: inaccurate word choice] hold them back, whereas this man learnt how to breath [k5: wrong spelling] breathe not noticing [k3: unnatural collocation] despite the difficulties.
//It can be inferred that the creator aimed to demonstrate that illness is not a justification for inaction: although the man was paralyzed, he remained mentally resilient and built a meaningful life, unlike those who surrender to excuses and attribute every setback to fate.
After watching this video, I was shocked how person could have [k4: wrong article + k4: incorrect structure] at how a person could have so much strength, especially mental one, [k3: unnatural word choice] strength, to live and not to give up. I guess, it made me feel that our humanity doesn’t [k1: no short forms in formal writing!] does not do anything special and [k4: incorrect conjunction / structure] or astonishing. This video and especially will be [k4: sentence structure + k2: lack of coherence] will, above all, serve as an example of human strength, love of life, and a strong desire to live a fulfilling life.
//Having watched it, I was struck by the sheer resilience—especially the psychological resilience—required to keep living and refuse to give up; above all, the video stands as a powerful example of strength, a love of life, and a determination to live fully.
This video included [k3: inaccurate word choice] contained a lot of unexpected facts for the viewer. This example will make people think about their own lives, and perhaps it will be a starting point of their new [k3: redundancy] interesting and fascinating life.
//The video contains many surprising details that may prompt viewers to reflect on their own lives—and, perhaps, become a turning point toward a more meaningful path.
Inspite of grammar and lexical mistakes, it is still a good job. Learn the rephrases by heart and send in an audio message reciting them.
Iron Lung
The video is about a man who had a dangerous disease [k4: article + k3: word choice] a severe illness – polio. He must have died [k2: illogical – "must have died" implies he died, but he survived] He was expected to die, but this guy [k1: informal] this man has lived in the metal box [k4: article – "a metal box" (iron lung) is more natural] an iron lung for 17 years.
During his life he learnt [k5: spelling consistency – British/American mix; use one style] learned how to breath [k5: wrong spelling] breathe like a hop [k5: misspelling / invented word?] frog to be able to move himself and even travel. // He mastered a frog‑like breathing technique that allowed him to move and even travel.
Also, this man wrote a book about his unordinary [k4: wrong formation] extraordinary life.
I suppose the creator's message is that disease is not an option of not doing anything [k3: unnatural phrasing + k4: structure] does not have to mean passivity. The man was paralyzed, yet mentally strong enough to overcome his condition and live fully, while ordinary people sometimes waste time and then blame a fate [k4: article] fate for their failures. Moreover, people often complain about circumstances that hold them back, whereas this man doesn't know how to breathe not noticing the difficulties [k2: illogical / garbled] keeps breathing without fixating on hardship.
After watching, I was amazed that person [k4: missing article] a person could possess such strength — especially mental one [k4: odd pronoun] fortitude — to keep living and not surrender.
guess, it made me feel that if our humanity doesn’t do anything special and astonishing. [k5: sentence fragment + k1: informal opening + k2: unclear] This story made me feel that humanity is capable of extraordinary things. This video and especially will stand as an example of human strength, love of life, and a powerful will to live fully.
This video included this video included [k3: tautology] It contained many unexpected facts. This example may prompt viewers to reflect on their own titles [k5: wrong spelling] everyday lives and perhaps become a starting point for a new, more fascinating life.
// The video might inspire people to re‑evaluate their existence and ignite a more purposeful journey.
After watching, I was amazed that person [k4: missing article] a person could possess such strength — especially mental one [k4: odd pronoun + k3: word choice] fortitude — to keep living and not surrender.