Email Version 1
Checked Version
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to inquire about the possibility of taking academic leave of absence [k4: wrong article] an academic leave of absence.
At present, I am unable to attend classes regularly due to unexpected family responsibilities. [k0: task achievement — you mention the reason, but it is too vague; you need to explain what kind of family circumstances require your attention and how long they may affect you] At present, I need to take care of a close family member for several months, which makes it difficult for me to attend classes regularly and complete coursework on time.
Due to unforeseen circumstances, I am considering applying for an academic leave. [k2: repetition — this repeats the previous sentence without adding new information + k0: task achievement — the effect on your studies is still underdeveloped] For this reason, I would like to ask whether I may apply for this type of leave.
I wonder what documents I should provide to support the request.
Would it be possible to resume my studies next semester after the leave ends [k2: unclear logic — the leave may not necessarily end before the next semester] after the approved period ends?
Could you please let me know how to apply for an academic leave of absence [k3: repetition — use a shorter reference here] it and for how long it may last. [k5: syntax — this is a question, so it needs a question mark] how long it may last?
I look forward to your response.
Kind regards,
Kate A.
Corrected Version
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to inquire about the possibility of taking an academic leave of absence.
At present, I need to take care of a close family member for several months, which makes it difficult for me to attend classes regularly and complete coursework on time. For this reason, I would like to ask whether I may apply for this type of leave.
Could you please let me know what documents I should submit to support my request, how long the leave may last, and whether I would be able to resume my studies after the approved period ends?
I look forward to your response.
Kind regards,
Kate A.
Score: 20 / 30
| Criterion | Score | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| Task achievement | 6 / 10 | You cover most of the required points: the reason, documents, duration, procedure, and return to studies. However, your explanation of the family situation is too vague, and you do not clearly describe how it affects your coursework, assignments, exams, or attendance. |
| Language accuracy | 7 / 10 | You write clearly overall, but there are mistakes with the article in “academic leave of absence,” repetition, and the missing question mark at the end of the indirect question. |
| Formality and clarity | 7 / 10 | You sound polite and formal, but the email is too short and repetitive. You need more specific explanation to make the request convincing. |
Main Rephrases
- due to unexpected family responsibilities → I need to take care of a close family member for several months
- Due to unforeseen circumstances, I am considering applying... → For this reason, I would like to ask whether I may apply...
- resume my studies next semester after the leave ends → resume my studies after the approved period ends
Potentially Missed or Debatable Issues
The phrase “family responsibilities” is acceptable, but in this task it is too general. You do not need to give private details, but you should explain the academic effect more clearly: attendance, deadlines, exams, or participation.
Email Version 2
Checked Version
Dear Sir or Madam,
I would like to request information regarding academic leave procedures.
Unfortunately, I have been hospitalised and now I am undergoing a recovery process [k3: unnatural phrasing] am now recovering, so I am currently unable to attend classes regularly due to my medical condition.
Given these circumstances, I wonder whether I would be eligible for an academic leave of absence.
Could you please let me know what documents are required in case a student applies for academic leave because of a medical condition [k3: unnatural and wordy phrasing] when requesting leave on medical grounds?
Also, whether it is possible to continue education after the leave. [k5: syntax — sentence fragment + k3: unnatural phrasing] Could you also clarify whether I would be able to resume my studies after the leave ends?
I would appreciate it if you could explain the application procedure and last of academic leave [k3: wrong word choice / unnatural phrasing] how long such leave may last.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Kind regards,
Kate A.
Corrected Version
Dear Sir or Madam,
I would like to request information regarding academic leave procedures.
Unfortunately, I have been hospitalised and am now recovering, so I am currently unable to attend classes regularly or keep up with my coursework. Given these circumstances, I would like to ask whether I may be eligible for an academic leave of absence.
Could you please let me know what documents are required when requesting leave on medical grounds? Could you also explain the application procedure, how long such leave may last, and whether I would be able to resume my studies after it ends?
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Kind regards,
Kate A.
Score: 23 / 30
| Criterion | Score | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| Task achievement | 8 / 10 | You address almost all parts of the task: you explain the medical reason, mention that it affects attendance, ask about documents, procedure, duration, and returning to studies. However, you should add one more detail about how the illness affects your academic work, not only class attendance. |
| Language accuracy | 7 / 10 | Your message is understandable, but there are several unnatural phrases, especially “undergoing a recovery process,” “continue education,” and “last of academic leave.” |
| Formality and clarity | 8 / 10 | You sound polite and professional. The structure is mostly clear, but one sentence fragment weakens the flow. |
Main Rephrases
- now I am undergoing a recovery process → am now recovering
- in case a student applies for academic leave because of a medical condition → when requesting leave on medical grounds
- whether it is possible to continue education after the leave → whether I would be able to resume my studies after the leave ends
- last of academic leave → how long such leave may last
Potentially Missed or Debatable Issues
The email would be stronger if you wrote one specific academic consequence, for example: “I am unable to complete assignments on time or prepare for exams properly.”
Email Version 3
Checked Version
Dear Dean’s Office,
Due to unforeseen circumstances, I am considering applying for an academic leave. At present, I am undergoing physical rehabilitation after serious sports injury [k4: wrong article] a serious sports injury.
The recovery period will least [k5: wrong spelling / k3: wrong word choice] last for half a year as for doctor’s recommendation [k3: unnatural phrasing + k4: wrong article] according to my doctor’s recommendation.
As a result of my injury, I am unable to meet the academic requirements this semester. [k0: task achievement — you explain the effect too generally; you should specify which academic activities are affected, such as attending classes, completing practical work, meeting deadlines, or taking exams] As a result of my injury, I cannot attend classes regularly, complete practical assignments on time, or prepare properly for exams because I need regular rehabilitation and have limited mobility.
In this case, I wonder whether I would be eligible for an academic leave of absence and whether I need to provide a medical certificate to you [k3: unnatural collocation] submit a medical certificate.
In addition, I would appreciate it if you could explain the application procedure and what documents I should provide.
Could you also clarify whether it would be possible to resume studies after the leave ends. [k0: task achievement — you ask about returning to studies, but you do not ask how long an academic leave may officially last + k5: syntax — this is a question, so it needs a question mark + k3: “resume studies” needs a possessive adjective here] Could you also clarify how long academic leave may officially last and whether I would be able to resume my studies after the approved period ends?
Yours faithfully,
Kate A.
Corrected Version
Dear Dean’s Office,
Due to unforeseen circumstances, I am considering applying for an academic leave. At present, I am undergoing physical rehabilitation after a serious sports injury.
According to my doctor’s recommendation, the recovery period will last for about six months. As a result of my injury, I am unable to meet the academic requirements this semester, complete practical assignments on time, or prepare properly for exams because I need regular rehabilitation and have limited mobility.
I would appreciate it if you could explain the application procedure and let me know what documents I should submit, including whether a medical certificate is required. Could you also clarify how long academic leave may officially last and whether I would be able to resume my studies after the approved period ends?
Yours faithfully,
Kate A.
Score: 22 / 30
| Criterion | Score | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| Task achievement | 7 / 10 | You explain the reason for the leave and describe how it affects your studies. You also ask about the procedure, documents, and returning after the leave. However, you do not clearly ask how long an academic leave may officially last, which is required in the task. |
| Language accuracy | 7 / 10 | You make several noticeable mistakes: “serious sports injury,” “will least,” “as for doctor’s recommendation,” and the missing question mark at the end of the final question. |
| Formality and clarity | 8 / 10 | You sound formal and professional. The email is clear overall, but some phrasing needs to be more natural. |
Main Rephrases
- after serious sports injury → after a serious sports injury
- The recovery period will least for half a year → The recovery period will last for about six months
- as for doctor’s recommendation → according to my doctor’s recommendation
- provide a medical certificate to you → submit a medical certificate
- resume studies after the leave ends → resume my studies after the approved period ends
Potentially Missed or Debatable Issues
The phrase “academic requirements” is acceptable, but it would be stronger if you specified what you cannot do: attend classes, submit assignments, complete laboratory work, or take exams.
Score: 21 / 30
| Criterion | Score | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| Task achievement | 6 / 10 | You explain the reason for the leave and mention that the injury affects your studies. However, you need to explain more specifically how it affects your academic work. You also do not clearly ask how long an academic leave may officially last, which is required in the task. |
| Language accuracy | 7 / 10 | You make several noticeable mistakes: “serious sports injury,” “will least,” “as for doctor’s recommendation,” “provide a medical certificate to you,” and the missing question mark at the end of the final question. |
| Formality and clarity | 8 / 10 | You sound formal and professional. The email is clear overall, but some phrasing needs to be more natural and the academic effect of the injury needs more detail. |
Main Rephrases
- after serious sports injury → after a serious sports injury
- The recovery period will least for half a year → The recovery period will last for about six months
- as for doctor’s recommendation → according to my doctor’s recommendation
- I am unable to meet the academic requirements this semester → I cannot attend classes regularly, complete practical assignments on time, or prepare properly for exams
- provide a medical certificate to you → submit a medical certificate
- resume studies after the leave ends → resume my studies after the approved period ends
Potentially Missed or Debatable Issues
The phrase “academic requirements” is acceptable, but it is too general for this task. You should specify what you cannot do: attend classes, submit assignments, complete practical work, or take exams.
Academic Discussion_TV programmes
In my opinion, television programs have significant [k4: wrong article] a significant impact on people’s lives, not only they affect [k4: incorrect word order in the “not only...” inversion structure] not only do they affect people’s [k3: word repetition — replace with a synonym or pronoun] viewers’ mind [k4: incorrect number form + k3: unnatural phrasing] mental well-being but also television watching has great negative impact [k3: word repetition] effects on health. [k0: task achievement — you mention two different effects instead of clearly choosing one most significant effect, as the task requires]
In my opinion, the most significant effect of watching television is that it harms people’s health: not only does it keep viewers physically inactive for long periods, but it may also contribute to a sedentary lifestyle.
Paul’s argument about interesting television programs is a double edged [k5: spelling / hyphenation] double-edged sword.
On one side [k3: unnatural linking phrase] On the one hand, people can find different programs [k3: vague wording] a wide range of programmes about nature and travel and broaden their experience [k3: less natural collocation in this context] horizons, but on the other side [k3: unnatural linking phrase] on the other hand, there are full variety of unpleasant content [k4: wrong subject-verb agreement + k4: wrong article + k3: unnatural word choice + k4: incorrect number form] is a wide variety of inappropriate content, especially for children. [k2: weak logic — the point about inappropriate content moves away from your main argument about health; you should explain how even useful programmes can encourage passive, prolonged viewing]
Paul is right that television programmes about nature and travel can broaden viewers’ horizons. However, this educational value is often outweighed by the way people consume such content: they may watch one programme after another or binge-watch short clips from TV shows on social media, spending hours glued to smartphone screens and remaining physically inactive.
And differ to [k3: unnatural phrasing + k4: wrong preposition] Unlike YouTube, for example, where a person can choose what to watch, television programs can be unexpected. [k2: weak logic — this contrast is not convincing because online platforms can also encourage addictive viewing through endless short clips]
In fact, online platforms may intensify the same problem because short excerpts from television programmes can keep viewers scrolling for hours, which increases sedentary time and weakens the educational benefit of the content.
Score: 17 / 30
| Criterion | Score | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| Task achievement | 5 / 10 | You answer the question and refer to both Kelly and Paul. However, you do not keep one clear focus throughout the essay. The task asks for the most significant effect, but you mention health, the mind, time-wasting, broadening experience, and inappropriate content. Your main idea should be narrower and more consistent. |
| Development and logic | 5 / 10 | You give some relevant reasons, especially about inactivity and health. However, several examples are too broad or not fully connected to your main argument. The point about YouTube and unexpected content is less convincing and shifts the essay away from the central health argument. |
| Language accuracy and style | 7 / 10 | Your meaning is usually clear, but there are several grammar and vocabulary problems: “significant impact,” “not only they affect,” “people’s mind,” “In case, when,” “vessels problems,” “On one side,” “full variety,” “differ to,” and “parent leave.” |
Main Rephrases
- television programs have significant impact on people’s lives → watching television has a significant impact on people’s lives
- not only they affect people’s mind but also... → their most serious effect is that they can harm people’s health
- are just sitting in front of it and are stuck without moving → remain physically inactive for long periods
- from metabolic diseases to serious vessels problems → from obesity to serious cardiovascular problems
- there are full variety of unpleasant content → there is a wide variety of inappropriate content
- differ to YouTube → unlike YouTube
Potentially Missed or Debatable Issues
The phrase “television programs” is not wrong, but the task is mostly about watching television, so your answer sounds more accurate if you focus on the activity rather than the programmes themselves.
The idea about inappropriate content is not completely irrelevant, but it weakens the essay because your main argument is about health. A stronger response would develop one effect in depth instead of adding several different effects.
The phrase “broaden their experience” is understandable because Paul uses a similar idea, but “broaden their horizons” sounds more natural in this context.
Speaking check
Interview Answer Checking
Note: since these are recognized audio answers, I have not marked spelling or punctuation. I have only marked grammar, vocabulary, repetition, logic, and possible recognition mistakes.
Response 1
Checked Version
One experience that has stayed with me is my first independent surgical procedure. It happened when I was in my fifth year at university. What made the experience [k3: word repetition — replace with “moment” or “event”] so rewarding is [k4: wrong tense — the answer is about a past event] was that my mentor, whom I had been working with for three years, trusted me enough to let me perform it on my own. I felt genuinely encouraged because it was such a milestone. It left a lasting impression on me, and the experience [k3: word repetition] moment taught me that while I still have so much more to learn, I was capable and well trained enough to take on big challenges. Overall, it was memorable not just because of the procedure itself, but because of how it shaped my confidence and future goals.
Corrected Version
One experience that has stayed with me is my first independent surgical procedure. It happened when I was in my fifth year at university. What made the moment so rewarding was that my mentor, whom I had been working with for three years, trusted me enough to let me perform it on my own. I felt genuinely encouraged because it was such a milestone. It left a lasting impression on me and showed me that, while I still have much more to learn, I was capable and well trained enough to take on major challenges. Overall, it was memorable not just because of the procedure itself, but because of how it shaped my confidence and future goals.
Score: 27 / 30
| Criterion | Score | Feedback |
|---|---|---|
| Content and development | 10 / 10 | You give a clear, personal, well-developed answer with a strong explanation of why the event mattered. |
| Language resource | 8 / 10 | Your vocabulary is strong and appropriate, but “experience” is repeated too often. You can vary it with “moment,” “event,” or “milestone.” |
| Grammar and fluency | 9 / 10 | Your grammar is very good overall. The main issue is the tense in “What made the experience so rewarding is.” |
Response 2
Checked Version
A difficult but meaningful experience I remember is my third year at medical university. At first, I saw it as a setback because it was incredibly challenging to begin learning complex subjects like anatomy and histology, especially since I had never studied biology before.
However, the benefit of hindsight [k4: missing preposition in the expression] with the benefit of hindsight, I now realized [k4: wrong tense] realize it was a breakthrough moment. After that year, I grew to truly love medicine.
The first year was heartbreaking [possible recognition mistake or k2: logic — you started by talking about the third year, so “the first year” may be a misrecognition of “this year” or “that year”], but it was a real eye-opener, and as it helped me understand [k4: incorrect linking structure] it helped me understand the importance of perseverance and also led me to form strong friendship [k4: incorrect number form] friendships with my classmates. For that reason, I would say it taught me a lesson the hard way.
Corrected Version
A difficult but meaningful experience I remember is my third year at medical university. At first, I saw it as a setback because it was incredibly challenging to begin learning complex subjects like anatomy and histology, especially since I had never studied biology before. However, with the benefit of hindsight, I now realize it was a breakthrough moment. After that year, I grew to truly love medicine. That year was extremely difficult, but it was a real eye-opener: it helped me understand the importance of perseverance and led me to form strong friendships with my classmates. For that reason, I would say it taught me a lesson the hard way.
Score: 23 / 30
| Criterion | Score | Feedback |
|---|---|---|
| Content and development | 8 / 10 | You give a meaningful answer and explain how the experience changed your attitude toward medicine. The answer has a clear emotional and reflective element. |
| Language resource | 7 / 10 | Your vocabulary is strong: “setback,” “breakthrough moment,” “eye-opener,” and “perseverance” are good choices. However, some expressions need more accurate grammar. |
| Grammar and fluency | 8 / 10 | You speak clearly, but there are problems with “with the benefit of hindsight,” tense choice, and the phrase “form strong friendship.” |
Response 3
Checked Version
I can still vividly remember my trip to Rome, Italy. It took place when I was about 20 or 90 [possible recognition mistake — probably “20 or 19,” “20,” or another age], and I was there with my best friend.
What made it particularly memorable was that they [possible recognition mistake or k4: incorrect pronoun] we explored the city together, walking through the charming streets, taking countless photos and just feeling so full of joy. It is one of those moments I still look back on with so much happiness.
Looking back, I would say it changed the way I think about traveling. After that, I began to travel with my friends all over the world, just us, without parents [k3: unnatural phrasing] without our parents.
Corrected Version
I can still vividly remember my trip to Rome, Italy. It took place when I was about twenty, and I was there with my best friend. What made it particularly memorable was that we explored the city together, walked through the charming streets, took countless photos, and felt completely joyful. It is one of those moments I still look back on with great happiness. Looking back, I would say it changed the way I think about traveling. After that, I began to travel with my friends all over the world, just us, without our parents.
Score: 24 / 30
| Criterion | Score | Feedback |
|---|---|---|
| Content and development | 8 / 10 | You describe a clear and positive memory. The answer explains not only what happened, but also why it mattered to you. |
| Language resource | 8 / 10 | Your vocabulary is natural and vivid: “charming streets,” “countless photos,” and “look back on” work well. |
| Grammar and fluency | 8 / 10 | The main issue is probably recognition-related: “they explored” should almost certainly be “we explored.” |
Response 4
Checked Version
A situation in which I learned something crucial about myself was during one of my surgical procedures. It was a particularly difficult case, and at one point everything went wrong. I lost control of the situation, there was open bleeding [k3: unnatural medical phrasing] active bleeding and the blood was even covering my face.
Yet in that moment I wasn't afraid, I just kept going, focusing entirely on the procedure. That That [possible recognition mistake — duplicated word] day I realized that I had a calm of resilience [possible recognition mistake + k3: unnatural phrase] a kind of calm resilience I didn't know I possessed. It taught me that even under immense pressure I can remain focused and keep my composure. Overall, this experience was a real turning point in how I see my own strength.
Corrected Version
A situation in which I learned something crucial about myself happened during one of my surgical procedures. It was a particularly difficult case, and at one point everything went wrong. I lost control of the situation, there was active bleeding, and the blood was even covering my face. Yet in that moment I was not afraid. I just kept going and focused entirely on the procedure. That day, I realized that I had a kind of calm resilience I did not know I possessed. It taught me that even under immense pressure, I can remain focused and keep my composure. Overall, this experience was a real turning point in how I see my own strength.
Score: 25 / 30
| Criterion | Score | Feedback |
|---|---|---|
| Content and development | 9 / 10 | You give a powerful and specific answer. The situation is vivid, and the conclusion clearly explains what you learned about yourself. |
| Language resource | 8 / 10 | Your vocabulary is strong: “crucial,” “immense pressure,” “keep my composure,” and “turning point” are very effective. The phrase “a calm of resilience” needs correction. |
| Grammar and fluency | 8 / 10 | The answer is fluent and confident. Some parts may be recognition issues, especially “That That” and possibly “a calm of resilience.” |
Response 5
Checked Version
I can still vividly remember a moment when I was truly happy. It was in San Diego when I was 24. I went there with my best friend and they [possible recognition mistake or k4: incorrect pronoun] we spent the whole day at SeaWorld. It is the famous amazing zoo [k3: inaccurate/unnatural description] a famous marine park with so many attractions.
We visited some of them multiple times and they [possible recognition mistake or k4: incorrect pronoun] we just couldn't stop smiling. They [possible recognition mistake or k4: incorrect pronoun] We saw all sorts of animals and even got to see them [possible recognition mistake or k2: unclear meaning — you have already said you saw animals, so this needs a more specific verb, such as “feed them,” “watch a show with them,” or “see them up close”].
Then in the evening there was a Christmas concert, and the performers sang beautifully, dancing as the light [possible recognition mistake or k4: incorrect number form] lights sparkled. It's [k4: wrong tense for a past event] It was just a perfect happy day, and I still feel that joy when I think about it.
Corrected Version
I can still vividly remember a moment when I was truly happy. It was in San Diego when I was 24. I went there with my best friend, and we spent the whole day at SeaWorld, a famous marine park with many attractions. We visited some of them multiple times and just could not stop smiling. We saw all sorts of animals and even got to see them up close. Then, in the evening, there was a Christmas concert, and the performers sang beautifully while the lights sparkled. It was a perfect, happy day, and I still feel that joy when I think about it.
Score: 21 / 30
| Criterion | Score | Feedback |
|---|---|---|
| Content and development | 8 / 10 | You answer the question clearly and give several concrete details: San Diego, SeaWorld, attractions, animals, and the Christmas concert. |
| Language resource | 6 / 10 | Your vocabulary is understandable, but some phrases are vague or unnatural, especially “the famous amazing zoo” and “got to see them.” |
| Grammar and fluency | 7 / 10 | Several issues may come from audio recognition, especially “they” instead of “we.” The answer would sound much stronger if the pronouns were consistent. |
Overall Feedback
| Response | Score | Main Point to Improve |
|---|---|---|
| Response 1 | 27 / 30 | You give a strong, mature answer. Avoid repeating “experience.” |
| Response 2 | 27 / 30 if intended | This is identical to Response 1, so check whether it was copied or recognized twice. |
| Response 3 | 23 / 30 | You have good ideas, but some grammar and logical links need cleaning up. |
| Response 4 | 24 / 30 | You describe the memory well, but there are likely recognition mistakes with age and pronouns. |
| Response 5 | 25 / 30 | You give a vivid and powerful answer. Clarify the recognition mistake around “calm of resilience.” |
| Response 6 | 21 / 30 | You give good concrete details, but pronoun consistency and some vague phrases weaken the answer. |
17 July, 2026
Email: Hotel Complaint
Checked Version
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to express my concern regarding the service that I received during my stay at a seaside hotel [k3: vague reference — in a complaint, it is clearer to refer to the hotel directly] your seaside hotel on a week on June 4th to 10th [k4: incorrect time expression] for a week from June 4 to June 10.
I am writing to express my concern about the service I received during my stay at your seaside hotel from June 4 to June 10.
Unfortunately, the air conditioner did not work, and there were insects in the bathroom. To make matters worse, some food served in the cafe [k3: slightly unnatural phrasing] some of the food served in the hotel café appeared to be spoiled. As a result, I got a stomach disorder [k3: unnatural collocation] developed a stomach illness and had to seek medical advice.
To make matters worse, some of the food served in the hotel café appeared to be spoiled. As a result, I developed a stomach illness and had to seek medical advice.
I reported the matter to a member of staff at the time; however, the issue was not resolved. Before I checked out [k5: syntax — introductory time phrase needs a comma] Before I checked out, a representative promised a refund [k3: less precise verb pattern] me a refund, however [k5: syntax — comma splice; “however” cannot join two independent clauses with commas only] but he did not explained [k4: wrong verb form after “did not”] did not explain the procedure.
I reported the matter to a member of staff at the time; however, the issue was not resolved. Before I checked out, a representative promised me a refund but did not explain the procedure.
Given these circumstances, I would appreciate it if you could investigate the matter and clarify what steps I should take to get a refund.
Please let me know what documents I should submit [k3: acceptable, but a more formal non-I-based structure is possible] which supporting documents are required.
Thank you in advance for your time and assistance. I look forward to your response.
Yours faithfully,
Kate A.
Corrected Version
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to express my concern about the service I received during my stay at your seaside hotel from June 4 to June 10.
Unfortunately, the air conditioner did not work, and there were insects in the bathroom. To make matters worse, some of the food served in the hotel café appeared to be spoiled. As a result, I developed a stomach illness and had to seek medical advice.
I reported the matter to a member of staff at the time; however, the issue was not resolved. Before I checked out, a representative promised me a refund but did not explain the procedure.
Given these circumstances, I would appreciate it if you could investigate the matter and clarify what steps I should take to receive the refund. Please also let me know which supporting documents are required.
Thank you for your time and assistance. I look forward to your response.
Yours faithfully,
Kate A.
Alternative Higher-Scoring Version
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to complain about the service I received during my stay at your seaside hotel from June 4 to June 10.
Unfortunately, the air conditioner in my room did not work, and there were insects in the bathroom. In addition, some of the food served in the hotel café appeared to be spoiled. As a result, I developed a stomach illness and had to seek medical advice.
I reported these problems to a member of staff during my stay, but they were not resolved. Before I checked out, a hotel representative promised me a refund but did not explain how the refund procedure works.
Could you please investigate the matter and let me know what steps I should take to receive the refund? I would also appreciate information about which supporting documents are required.
Thank you for your time and assistance. I look forward to your response.
Yours faithfully,
Kate A.
Score: 24 / 30
| Criterion | Score | Feedback |
|---|---|---|
| Task achievement | 8 / 10 | You explain the main problems clearly: the broken air conditioner, insects, spoiled food, illness, an unresolved complaint, and the refund issue. To score higher, add one or two concrete details, such as your room number, booking reference, or the date when you reported the problem. |
| Language accuracy | 8 / 10 | Your email is generally accurate, but there are some mistakes with time expressions, verb forms, and sentence linking: “on a week on June 4th to 10th,” “did not explained,” and the comma splice with “however.” |
| Formality, clarity, and organisation | 8 / 10 | You sound polite and serious. The structure is logical, but the refund paragraph could be slightly clearer and more formal. |
Main Rephrases
ona week on June 4th to 10th → from June 4 to June 10- some food served in the cafe → some of the food served in the hotel café
- got a stomach disorder → developed a stomach illness
- a representative promised a refund → a representative promised me a refund
- however he did not explained → but he did not explain
- what documents I should submit → which supporting documents are required
Potentially Missed or Debatable Issues
The phrase “Thank you in advance” is acceptable, but in a formal complaint, “Thank you for your time and assistance” sounds slightly more neutral and professional.
The email would sound more complete if you included a sentence such as: “I can provide a copy of my booking confirmation, medical receipt, and any other documents required.”
Academic Discussion Response
Checked Version
I am more inclined to agree with James, but I understand Emililys’ [k5: wrong spelling / unclear name form] Emily’s arguments as well. While watering [k3: inaccurate word choice — the academic topic appears to be irrigation rather than ordinary watering] irrigation is essential for agriculture, some people might be concerned about consequences [k3: vague wording] environmental consequences, especially in water-poor [k3: less natural collocation] water-scarce regions.
I am more inclined to agree with James, although I understand Emily’s argument as well. While irrigation is essential for agriculture, it can create serious environmental concerns, especially in water-scarce regions.
What has not yet been discussed is that taking ground water [k5: spelling / word form] groundwater from one region in able to [k4: incorrect structure] in order to irrigate crop production [k3: unnatural collocation] crops in another region make cause damaging of ecological sustainability [k4: incorrect verb form/structure + k3: unnatural phrasing] may damage local ecosystems. [k2: logic — the idea is relevant, but the cause-and-effect relationship needs to be expressed more clearly]
What has not yet been discussed is that transferring groundwater from one area to irrigate crops in another may damage local ecosystems and reduce long-term environmental stability.
What is why [k5: wrong spelling / k4: incorrect linking phrase] That is why new technological features [k3: inaccurate word choice] technological solutions like water recycling systems or optimizing water usage by implementing sprinkler irrigation [k3: wordy/unnatural phrasing] more efficient sprinkler irrigation can save not only harvesting at the end of a season [k3: inaccurate word choice] crop yields but also ecological landscape [k3: unnatural collocation + k4: missing article/plural issue] the local environment.
That is why technological solutions such as water recycling systems and more efficient sprinkler irrigation can protect both crop yields and the local environment.
Therefore, I believe farming companies should strike a balance between using water sources sustainable [k4: adjective used instead of adverb] sustainably and growing food.
Therefore, I believe agricultural companies should strike a balance between producing enough food and using water resources sustainably.
Corrected Version
I am more inclined to agree with James, although I understand Emily’s argument as well. While irrigation is essential for agriculture, it can create serious environmental concerns, especially in water-scarce regions. What has not yet been discussed is that transferring groundwater from one area to irrigate crops in another may damage local ecosystems and reduce long-term environmental stability. That is why technological solutions such as water recycling systems and more efficient sprinkler irrigation can protect both crop yields and the local environment. Therefore, I believe agricultural companies should strike a balance between producing enough food and using water resources sustainably.
Alternative Higher-Scoring Version
I am more inclined to agree with James, although I understand Emily’s concern about food production. Irrigation is essential for agriculture, especially in dry regions, but using groundwater without strict limits can damage ecosystems and make water shortages worse over time. What has not yet been discussed is that moving water from one region to support crop production in another may protect harvests in the short term while harming local environmental stability. For this reason, farms should not simply use more water. Instead, they should invest in recycling systems, drip or sprinkler irrigation, and careful monitoring of water use. This would help farmers maintain crop yields without exhausting limited water resources.
Score: 18 / 30
| Criterion | Score | Feedback |
|---|---|---|
| Task achievement | 6 / 10 | You state your position and refer to both James and Emily. You also introduce a relevant point about groundwater and sustainability. However, your argument is underdeveloped because the reader needs a clearer explanation of how irrigation may damage ecosystems and how technology would solve the problem. |
| Development and logic | 6 / 10 | You have a logical main idea, but several sentences are difficult to follow because the cause-and-effect links are not expressed clearly. The strongest line would be: limited water resources → risk to ecosystems → need for efficient irrigation technology. |
| Language accuracy and style | 6 / 10 | Your meaning is partly clear, but there are several serious grammar and vocabulary issues: “in able to,” “make cause damaging,” “technological features,” “harvesting,” and “using water sources sustainable.” |
Main Rephrases
- watering is essential for agriculture → irrigation is essential for agriculture
- water-poor regions → water-scarce regions
- taking ground water from one region → transferring groundwater from one area
- in able to irrigate crop production → in order to irrigate crops
- make cause damaging of ecological sustainability → may damage local ecosystems
- technological features → technological solutions
- save not only harvesting → protect crop yields
- using water sources sustainable → using water resources sustainably
Potentially Missed or Debatable Issues
The expression “water-poor regions” is understandable, but “water-scarce regions” is more natural and academic.
The phrase “strike a balance” is a good choice. You should keep it, but the phrase after it needs a parallel structure: “between producing enough food and using water resources sustainably.”
The discussion response would score higher if you named one concrete technology, such as drip irrigation, sprinkler irrigation, or water recycling systems, and briefly explained how it reduces waste.