Checked TOEFL Email #1

Task: 

Write an email to the editor of the magazine. In your email, do the following:

• Tell the editor what you like about the new magazine.

• Describe the problem you experienced with the submission form.

• Ask about the status of your submissions and what you should do next.

Write as much as you can in complete sentences.
Your email should be polite and clear.

Dear "Frontiers of Tomorrow" editor's office [k1: inappropriate form of address for this task + k3: unnatural wording] Editor of Frontiers of Tomorrow,

I am writing to inform you that, despite being amazed by the relevance of the articles' topics, i'm facing a trouble submitting a form. [k0: task achievement — you partly miss two task requirements: you should explain what you like about the magazine as a whole and connect it to space exploration; you also do not describe the actual problem with the online form + k2: illogical structure — the problem should start a new sentence, not continue the sentence about the magazine + k3: unnatural phrasing in “being amazed by the relevance of the articles' topics” and “facing a trouble” + k1: “i'm” is too informal for a formal email + k5: capitalization error] I appreciate your magazine’s focus on space exploration because this topic is especially relevant today, with renewed interest in lunar missions, Mars research, and private aerospace technology. Unfortunately, I had difficulty using the online submission form: after I uploaded both articles and clicked “Submit,” the form would not go through, and I am not sure whether they reached your editorial team.

I appreciate your magazine’s focus on space exploration because this topic is especially relevant today, with renewed interest in lunar missions, Mars research, and private aerospace technology. Unfortunately, I had difficulty using the online submission form: after I uploaded both articles and clicked “Submit,” the form would not go through, and I am not sure whether they reached your editorial team.

I would also like to ask about the status of my submission [k0: task achievement — the task says you submitted two articles, so the plural meaning is needed] two articles and, additionally [k3: redundant connector after “also”] ask [k3: repetition/tautology] would like you to provide me with an instruction for further actions [k3: unnatural phrasing + k4: incorrect number form; “further” itself is not wrong, but the whole phrase is unnatural here] guidance on what I should do next.

Could you please confirm whether my two articles were received and advise me on what I should do next?

I would greatly appreciate your assistance with this matter.

Thank you for your time and understanding! [k1: not the best closing formula here; you are asking for help, not asking the editor to tolerate an inconvenience + k5: punctuation too emotional for a formal request] assistance.Best regards, [k5: syntax — missing space or line break before the closing phrase]

Best regards,
Mariia Tu

Corrected Version

Dear Editor of Frontiers of Tomorrow,

[appreciation of the editors' work] I appreciate your magazine’s focus on space exploration because this topic is especially relevant today, with renewed interest in lunar missions, Mars research, and private aerospace technology.

[outlining the problem] Unfortunately, I had difficulty using the online submission form: after I uploaded both articles and clicked “Submit,” the form would not go through, and I am not sure whether they reached your editorial team.

[request] Could you please confirm whether my two articles were received and advise me on what I should do next?

I would greatly appreciate your assistance.

Best regards,
Mariia Tu

Alternative Natural Version

Dear Editor of Frontiers of Tomorrow,

I enjoy Frontiers of Tomorrow because it presents space exploration as an important and timely subject. With current developments in lunar missions, Mars research, and private aerospace technology, this theme feels especially relevant to readers today.

Unfortunately, I had difficulty using the online submission form. After I uploaded my two short articles and clicked “Submit,” the form would not go through, and I did not receive any confirmation that they had been received.

Could you please check the status of my submissions and let me know what I should do next?

Thank you for your time and assistance.

Best regards,
Mariia Tu

Score: 15 / 30

Main Rephrases

• despite being amazed by the relevance of the articles' topics → I appreciate your magazine’s focus on space exploration because this topic is especially relevant today...
• i'm facing a trouble submitting a form → Unfortunately, I had difficulty using the online submission form...
• The form would not go through, and I am not sure whether they reached your editorial team. [This adds the missing description of the problem.]
• the status of my submission → whether my two articles were received
• provide me with an instruction for further actions → advise me on what I should do next

Potentially Missed or Debatable Issues

The word further is not wrong either. The issue is the whole phrase “an instruction for further actions.” More natural alternatives are “guidance on what I should do next,” “advice on the next steps,” or “instructions on how to proceed.”

The sentence beginning with “I am writing to inform you that...” does not work well here because it tries to combine appreciation of the magazine and the technical problem in one grammatical structure. These ideas should be separated into two sentences.

Checked TOEFL Academic Discussion Essay

Like Daniel, I believe that school administration [k3: inaccurate wording — the task is about schools in general, not one administrative body] schools should continue providing printed materials [k3: less precise than the task wording] printed textbooks, and I would also like to add to this idea [k3: vague phrasing] build on his argument.

Like Daniel, I believe that printed textbooks should remain central in school education, and I would like to build on his argument.

This is because children, especially 6-10 years old ones [k3: unnatural phrasing] children, especially those aged six to ten, are easily distracted by bright colors or loud music [k2: weak logic — digital textbooks may include visual elements, but “loud music” is not clearly connected to the task; you need to link the example more directly to screen-based learning], which directly impacts the studying process [k3: unnatural collocation] learning process.

This is because younger children, especially those aged six to ten, may find screen-based materials distracting when they include animations, pop-ups, or interactive features that compete for their attention.

For example, many psychological studies show that it is important to keep children away from the gadgets until certain age [k0: task achievement — the example is too vague and overgeneralized; you should give a clearer reason connected to concentration, reading, or note-taking + k4: wrong article in “the gadgets” + k4: wrong article in “until certain age”].

For example, research on attention suggests that excessive screen use can make it harder for younger learners to concentrate on long texts, so printed books may be more suitable for regular classroom reading.

Although Sofia makes an interesting point about simplified understanding [k3: inaccurate summary of Sofia’s idea] making complex topics easier to understand, I think it is more applicable to university students rather than children, since they are the ones responsible for their education and it is their duty not to be distracted [k0: task achievement — you respond to Sofia, but you do not fully address her points about updates, quizzes, or interactive elements; the contrast between university students and children is too broad because the task asks about schools in general + k2: overgeneralized reasoning]. Therefore [k5: syntax — missing space after the full stop], the most effective strategy would be to stick to the old methods of studying [k3: imprecise and slightly negative wording; “old methods” sounds dismissive rather than academic] keep printed textbooks as the main learning resource and teach children how to interact with printed materials [k3: unnatural collocation] use them effectively.

Although Sofia is right that interactive materials can help students understand difficult topics, I think this advantage is more suitable for older learners, who can manage digital distractions more independently. Therefore, schools should keep printed textbooks as the main learning resource while using digital tools only as a supplement.

Corrected Version

Like Daniel, I believe that printed textbooks should remain central in school education, and I would like to build on his argument. This is because younger children, especially those aged six to ten, may find screen-based materials distracting when they include animations, pop-ups, or interactive features that compete for their attention. For example, research on attention suggests that excessive screen use can make it harder for younger learners to concentrate on long texts, so printed books may be more suitable for regular classroom reading. Although Sofia is right that interactive materials can help students understand difficult topics, I think this advantage is more suitable for older learners, who can manage digital distractions more independently. Therefore, schools should keep printed textbooks as the main learning resource while using digital tools only as a supplement.

Alternative Higher-Scoring Version

I partly agree with both Sofia and Daniel, but I think schools should use a blended approach rather than completely replacing printed textbooks. Daniel is right that paper books can help students focus and take notes more carefully, especially younger pupils who are easily distracted by screens. However, Sofia also makes a valid point: digital materials can explain difficult topics through videos, quizzes, and quick updates. For example, a science class could use a printed textbook for reading and written work, but an online simulation to show how planets move around the Sun. Therefore, printed books should remain the main resource, while digital tools should be used selectively to support understanding.

Score: 18 / 30

Main Rephrases

• school administration should continue providing printed materials → schools should keep printed textbooks as the main learning resource
• children, especially 6-10 years old ones → children, especially those aged six to ten
• bright colors or loud music → animations, pop-ups, or interactive features that compete for their attention
• simplified understanding → making complex topics easier to understand
• stick to the old methods of studying → keep printed textbooks as the main learning resource

Potentially Missed or Debatable Issues

The phrase “Like Daniel” is acceptable in TOEFL Academic Discussion writing, but it would be stronger if you offered a more independent position, for example, a blended approach: printed textbooks as the main resource and digital tools as supplements.

The idea about university students is not completely irrelevant, but it shifts the focus away from the task, which asks about schools. A better contrast would be between younger pupils and older school students.

The essay is slightly underdeveloped for a stronger TOEFL response. To score higher, you need one more concrete example, such as printed textbooks helping with annotation, memory, or reducing screen fatigue.

Demo Speaking_Interview

July1, 2026

Checked New TOEFL Email

Checked Version

I am writing to inform you that after having been examined in your hospital's outpatient department I was prescribed a specific medication (the prescription attached below) and after taking it I developed rash and felt dizzy. [k0: task achievement — you do not mention the original reason for the visit: severe throat pain and a high fever; you also do not say that the examination was very short, that your symptoms became worse, or that another doctor later questioned the medication + k5: syntax — the sentence is overloaded and needs clearer punctuation/division]

I am writing to report a problem following my recent visit to your hospital’s outpatient department. I came in with severe throat pain and a high fever, but after a very brief examination, I was prescribed medication without a detailed discussion of my medical history. After taking it, I developed a rash, felt dizzy, and my original symptoms became worse.

I wonder why the doctor didn't [k1: no short forms in formal writing] did not ask about my allergies or medical history.

Additionally [k3: redundant/unnatural connector here] Therefore, I request you to take a second look on my case [k3: unnatural collocation + k4: wrong preposition] review my case and make sure, whether the treatment was appropriate or not [k3: unnatural phrasing + k5: unnecessary comma + k4: incorrect structure after “make sure”] explain whether the treatment was appropriate.

Therefore, I would like to ask the hospital administration to review my case and explain whether the treatment I received was appropriate.

I would also like to request [k3: repetition — “request” is repeated in the previous sentence] receive information about follow-up care or corrective treatment and provide me a copy of my medical record [k3: unnatural phrasing + k4: incorrect verb pattern; the hospital should not be directly commanded to “provide me” in this structure] find out how I can obtain a copy of my medical records.

I would also be grateful if you could provide information about any necessary follow-up care or corrective treatment, as well as explain how I can obtain a copy of my medical records.

Best regards,
Tu Mariia [k1: name order may be unclear in an English formal email] Mariia Tu

Corrected Version

Dear Hospital Administration,

I am writing to report a problem following my recent visit to your hospital’s outpatient department. I came in with severe throat pain and a high fever, but after a very brief examination, I was prescribed medication without a detailed discussion of my allergies or medical history. After taking it, I developed a rash, felt dizzy, and my original symptoms became worse.

I later consulted another doctor, who told me that the medication may not have been suitable for me. Therefore, I would like to ask the hospital administration to review my case and explain whether the treatment I received was appropriate.

I would also be grateful if you could provide information about any necessary follow-up care or corrective treatment, as well as explain how I can obtain a copy of my medical records.

Best regards,
Mariia Tu

Alternative Higher-Scoring Version

Dear Hospital Administration,

I am writing to report a serious concern about my recent visit to your outpatient department. I came to the hospital because I had severe throat pain and a high fever. However, the examination was very brief, and the doctor prescribed medication without asking whether I had any allergies or previous reactions to medicine.

After taking the medication, I developed a rash, felt dizzy, and my original symptoms became worse. I later consulted another doctor, who suggested that the medicine may not have been suitable for me.

Could you please review my case and explain whether the treatment I received was appropriate? I would also appreciate information about any follow-up care or corrective treatment I may need. Finally, could you let me know how I can obtain a copy of my medical records?

Best regards,
Mariia T

Score: 20 / 30

Main Rephrases

• after having been examined in your hospital's outpatient department → following my recent visit to your hospital’s outpatient department
• I was prescribed a specific medication → I was prescribed medication
• I developed rash and felt dizzy → I developed a rash and felt dizzy
• take a second look on at my case → review my case
• make sure whether the treatment was appropriate or not → explain whether the treatment was appropriate
• provide me a copy of my medical record → explain how I can obtain a copy of my medical records

Potentially Missed or Debatable Issues

The phrase “I wonder why...” is grammatically possible, but in a serious complaint it may sound a little emotional or indirect. A more formal version is “I am concerned that the doctor did not ask about my allergies or medical history.”

The word “medication” is acceptable, but repeating it too often can make the email sound mechanical. You can use “the medicine,” “the prescribed treatment,” or “it” where appropriate.

The email would score higher if you separated the complaint into clearer stages: reason for the visit → treatment received → reaction after taking the medicine → later medical opinion → requests to the hospital.

Checked New TOEFL Academic Discussion Response_Medicine

Checked Version

While both Arman and Naya raise  valid points make valid arguments, I strongly believe that governments should subsidize routine lipid screening, but only for specific groups of people.

While both Arman and Naya make valid arguments, I strongly believe that governments should subsidize routine lipid screening only for high-risk groups.

I think this way because the country's budget [k3: slightly imprecise wording in a public-policy context] public budget is not infinite, but simultaneously [k3: unnatural connector here] at the same time there are people [k3: repetition — “people” repeats the previous phrase “groups of people”] individuals who need support in this matter, for instance, young adults with a family history of genetic diseases [k3: inaccurate wording — the task is about inherited lipid-related cardiovascular risks, especially elevated Lp(a), not genetic diseases in general] inherited cardiovascular risk or elevated Lp(a).

This approach would be more realistic because public funds are limited, while some individuals, such as young adults with a family history of heart disease or elevated Lp(a), clearly need access to testing.

I also agree with Arman in the sense of providing better opportunities to stay healthy in __ early ages [k3: unnatural phrasing + k4: wrong number form/article use] that schools should provide better opportunities for students to stay healthy from an early age.

As an example, obligatory PA classes [k3: unclear abbreviation - you probably meant 'PE'  + k3: unnatural collocation] compulsory physical education classes, healthy food in schools' buffets [k3: unnatural word choice + k4: incorrect possessive form] school cafeterias and so on.

As an example, ___?____compulsory physical education classes, healthy food in school cafeterias and so on. [k5/k4: syntax / grammar — sentence fragment; there is no main verb!] For example, schools could offer compulsory physical education classes and healthier food in cafeterias.

It will definitely prevent some of the diseases, which develop because of the unhealthy lifestyle. [k2: overgeneralised logic — lifestyle programmes can reduce risk, but “definitely prevent” is too strong + k3: repeated idea of health/healthy + k4: unnecessary article before “unhealthy lifestyle”] These measures could reduce the risk of lifestyle-related diseases.

Such measures could reduce the risk of lifestyle-related diseases and would benefit all students, not only those selected for lipid screening.

Although Naya makes an interesting point about equity promoted by subsidizing [k3: unnatural phrasing + k3: unclear reference] equity through subsidies, I believe it [k3: unclear pronoun reference — “it” could refer to equity or subsidizing] broad screening may lead to overdiagnosis cases [k3: unnatural collocation] overdiagnosis and a loss of money [k3: unnatural phrasing] waste public funds, which could have been spent [k4: wrong tense/conditional form for a general policy argument] could be spent on solving other societal problems.

Although Naya makes a strong point about equity, I believe that broad screening of all healthy young people may lead to overdiagnosis, unnecessary anxiety, and extra follow-up costs. These funds could be spent on targeted testing for high-risk students and wider prevention programmes.

Corrected Version

While both Arman and Naya make valid arguments, I strongly believe that governments should subsidize routine lipid screening only for high-risk groups. This approach would be more realistic because public funds are limited, while some individuals, such as young adults with a family history of heart disease or elevated Lp(a), clearly need access to testing. I also agree with Arman that schools should provide better opportunities for students to stay healthy from an early age. For example, schools could offer compulsory physical education classes and healthier food in cafeterias. Such measures could reduce the risk of lifestyle-related diseases and benefit all students. Although Naya makes a strong point about equity, broad screening of all healthy young people may lead to overdiagnosis, unnecessary anxiety, and extra follow-up costs. Therefore, governments should fund lipid tests for high-risk students while investing in prevention for everyone.

Alternative Higher-Scoring Version

I agree partly with both Arman and Naya, but I think governments should subsidize lipid screening only for high-risk adolescents and young adults. Arman is right that testing every healthy teenager could waste public funds and create unnecessary anxiety. However, Naya makes an important point about genetic risks such as elevated Lp(a), which cannot be solved by diet or exercise alone. For this reason, young people with a family history of early heart disease should have access to free or low-cost testing. At the same time, schools should invest in prevention through healthier cafeteria food, physical education, and media literacy about junk-food advertising. This targeted policy would protect vulnerable students without turning routine screening into an expensive programme for everyone.

Score: 21 / 30

Main Rephrases

• specific groups of people → high-risk groups
• the country’s budget is not infinite → public funds are limited
• young adults with a family history of genetic diseases → young adults with a family history of heart disease or elevated Lp(a)
• better opportunities to stay healthy in early ages → better opportunities for students to stay healthy from an early age
• obligatory PA classes, healthy food in schools’ buffets → compulsory physical education classes and healthier food in school cafeterias
• overdiagnosis cases and a loss of money → overdiagnosis, unnecessary anxiety, and extra follow-up costs

Potentially Missed or Debatable Issues

The abbreviation “PA” may be understood in some contexts, but in a TOEFL response it is safer to write “physical education” or “physical activity.”

The word “subsidize” is repeated because it is central to the task, so not every use is a mistake. However, where possible, you can vary it with “fund,” “cover,” “provide free or low-cost testing,” or “offer subsidies.”

Your strongest idea is the targeted-policy position. To make the answer score higher, keep returning to this line: screen high-risk students, but use broad public-health programmes for everyone else.