In your letter, you asked [k4: tense inconsistency] ask me about my healthy lifestyle [k3: inaccurate wording - the friend doesn’t know if you lead a healthy lifestyle] whether I lead a healthy lifestyle and also about my attitude towards it.
As for your first question, of course, [k5] I do some things to stay healthy, such as doing sport exercises [k3: unnatural collocation] sports activities and eating healthy balanced food [k5: unnatural phrasing because of the absence of the comma] a healthy, balanced diet.
Answering your next question [k3: not very natural phrase structure], To answer your next question, I think // Answering your next question, I'd say that observing a daily routine and taking care of themselves [k4: incorrect reflexive pronoun] oneself make make / makes people healthy and strong.
Talking about a healthy lifestyle, I think that it is very important for everyone. So, every people [k3: incorrect plural form. "Every" means 'each one' and requires a singular noun/pronoun] everyone should do anything [k3: inaccurate word choice. 'Anything' means 'хоть что-нибудь'] everything they can to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
I'm curious about your coming summer holidays [k3: unnatural phrasing] upcoming summer holiday! Where are you going to spend your summer holidays [k3: unnatural for informal writing] break? What are you going to do on [k4: wrong preposition] during your summer holiday ? Who are you going to spend these [k4: wrong determiner] your summer break with?
Yours,
Mary
Letter 2
Dear Harley,
Thank you for your recent email message. I am happy to hear from you again!
In your email you ask me about family. As for your first question, the best thing about my family is that we don’t have any secrets from each other. Answering your next question, I usually talk to my parents about everything: about school, friends and even my personal life. Talking about spending my free time, to be honest I prefer to spend it with my friends, because it’s funnier [k3: inaccurate word choice – 'more fun' is the natural collocation] more fun and more interesting for me.
I’m curious about the summer arts camp! Where is the summer arts camp located? [k3: repetition] it //Where is it located? How long will you be in the summer arts camp? [k3: repetition] there //How long are you going to stay there? Are you going to the summer arts camp [k3: repetition] go there alone or with somebody?
Sorry, but I need to go now, because today is my mom’s birthday. Write back soon!
Best wishes,
Masha
Essay_Report on a project
Without a doubt, all teenagers have dreams, but their dreams can be very different. The project I am working on is aimed at establishing what modern teenagers in Zetland dream about. The provided pie chart illustrates the results of opinion polls sourced during the course of the research. The findings will be analysed in this essay.
As can be seen from the pie chart, the majority of the respondents prefer job promotion as a dream [k2: coherence – unnatural phrasing] dream of being promoted at work. //The majority of the respondents indicated that being promoted at work was their main aspiration (38%). Additionally, 24% of the surveyed dream about academic [k4: wrong word form – 'academic' is an adjective; noun needed] dream about academic achievement. Meanwhile, 10% prefer well-being as a dream [k2: coherence – vague and awkward phrasing] consider well-being one of their top aspirations. //Meanwhile, 10% of the respondents reported well-being as one of their most valued dreams.
A closer examination of the pie chart reveals that the percentage [k3: redundancy – repeated with 3%] share of the respondents who dream about real estate is 3% more than that of the interviewees who dream about a marriage [k4: wrong article usage – 'marriage' used in general sense] marriage. The reason for this is that a marriage is a very responsible and important event [k3: unnatural collocation + style] marriage is considered a serious and significant commitment, so many teenagers do not want to hurry with it, while real estate gives a great amount of opportunities for young people and makes them more independent.
Unfortunately, realizing one's dreams can be problematic: young people usually do not have much money to realize [k3: repetition – already stated earlier in the sentence] fulfil their dream[k3: repetition] goals. There are ways to mitigate this issue, including hoarding money [k3: inappropriate register – use a more neutral or positive phrase] setting aside savings for one's dream by spending less money and refusing themselves in some purchases [k3: unnatural phrasing – 'deny oneself' is standard] denying oneself certain purchases. It will help teenagers to save enough money [k3: wordiness/redundancy] save money and make a dream come true.
Overall, I strongly believe that the dreams of modern teenagers are a bit material [/k1: style - " a bit" is too informal + k3: inaccurate expression – 'materialistic' is the standard term] somewhat materialistic, but despite this, they are very important and necessary for everyone.//they help guide young people’s decisions and give purpose to their efforts
You can rewrite your works without mistakes and with rephrases here
Report on a Project_How students get to school
Report on a project
Without a doubt, all students have to wake up early and get to school, but nowadays there is a huge amount of ways [k3: incorrect collocation+K1: "huge" is informal] a wide variety of ways / numerous options how they can get to it [k3: awkward phrasing] reach school. As part of my project on how students usually get to school in Zetland, I have found the results of a relevant survey in the form of a pie chart. The findings will be analysed in this essay.
As can be seen from the pie chart, the majority of the respondents usually get to school with parents [k1: coherence+k4:article] are given a lift by their parents (47%). Additionally, 18% of the students prefer to get to school by bus. Meanwhile, 5% of the interviewees usually use more than one type of transport to get to school.
A closer examination of the pie chart reveals that the percentage of the respondents who usually get to school by bicycle or scooter is 5% less more [k4: contradiction] lower than those who [k2:coherence] than that of the interviewees who prefer to get to school on foot (14%). The reason for this is that not all students can ride a bicycle or scooter and also it can be dangerous [k3: vague phrasings] it may pose safety risks. Moreover, while walking, students can breathe fresh air.
Unfortunately, getting to school can be problematic: some students live far from their schools, so it may be difficult to go to school for them [k5: awkward structure] live far from school, which makes it difficult for them to get there. To mitigate this issue, I suggest to provide [k4: verb pattern – suggest + gerund] providing school buses to carriage students to school. This will help to save time [k4: unnecessary infinitive] save time for both children and parents.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that it is very important to come to school on time, because students shouldn’t miss important information. Moreover, they mustn’t distract from the lesson others [k4: object missing] must not distract others from the lesson.
Report on a project on Social Networks
There is no doubt that social networks become more and more popular nowadays [k3: wordy/repetitive phrasing+k4: wrong tense] are gaining increasing popularity ///are becoming an integral part of modern teenagers' lives, because plenty of teenagers use them everyday [k5: spelling—should be "every day"] every day.
As part of my project on "what social networks are used by teenagers in Zetland", I have found the results of a relevant survey in the form of a table. The findings will be analysed in this essay.
As can be seen from the table, the majority of the respondents use Instagram ///prefer Instagram as a social network (33%). Additionally, 32% of the surveyed use Snapchat as a social network [k3: repetition] prefer Snapchat. Meanwhile, only 3% of the interviewees prefer using Twitter ///report using Twitter regularly.
A closer examination of the table reveals that the percentage of the respondents who use TikTok (27%) is more than five times higher than those who use Facebook (5%) [k2: ambiguous] is five times that of Facebook-users. The reason for this is that on TikTok people can post short videos, which are easy and interesting to watch, while on Facebook users mainly post photos.
Unfortunately, using social media can be problematic: teenagers spend too much time online instead of engaging in real l ife communication // face-to-face interaction. To mitigate this issue, I suggest to make a timetable [k4: incorrect form—use gerund] making a timetable ///creating a structured schedule, in which they will have time both for online and offline activities. It will help teenagers to save their time and vision [k3: inaccurate/awkward expression] use their time more wisely and protect their eyesight.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that social media sites are very important for modern teenagers, because they help them to express themselves and to find new friends [k3: overused/wordy phrasing] as they offer opportunities for self-expression and social bonding.
k1[3]k2[3]k3[2]k4[1]k5[2]=11 out of 14
Art lover – You have no clue how stunning the exhibition was! Russian impressionists were just mind-blowing. I’m still under their spell. One portrait is so lifelike. I was just on cloud nine.
Football fan – That’s cool. Really. Sorry, I can’t fully enjoy your enthusiasm right now. Our club was beaten. Not even beaten but humiliatingly shredded. That last goal took the wind out of my sails.
A – I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Look, it’s not the end of the world. They will bounce back, won’t they?
F – Do hope[k4: missing subject – informal ellipsis]I do hope they will. But now the world has collapsed. The evening is going to hell in a handbasket. Can you even begin to imagine this blow?
A – I can do it[k4: wrong verb – register/style error]imagine it. I know, it’s a tough pill to swallow but try to take it easy and relax. Can I show you a sketch from the exhibition? I think it will brighten your day. It’s not just the sketch, it contains life. Real life.
F – Well, it’s not my thing, you know. All these strokes and lines go over my head[k4: tense agreement – mismatch in sequence]are going over my head. Shall we change the subject?
A – You’re drowning in your thoughts. But honestly, a distraction will do you good. You can always tell me about the match later.
F – Sorry, I haven’t meant[k4: tense – perfect present incorrect with intention]didn't mean to vent everything on you. It’s just it’s hard to digest. I didn’t plan to ruin your vibe.
A – That’s all right. Emotions win sometimes. Just remember – this too shall pass.
A – Is this supposed to be art? Frankly, I don’t get what this is all about. It’s like somebody has just dumped everything from the attic into one pile and hung neon lights over it.
B – So glad to hear we see eye to eye about this. I was afraid I’d have to pretend to like it. This «masterpiece[k5: punctuation – wrong quotation mark]“masterpiece”» goes over my head[k4: tense consistency in narrative]is going over my head.
A – I’m not pulling punches. It’s a sheer nightmare. The composite image is chaotic. It’s all over the place.
B – Wanted to add here something but I’m completely lost for words[k4: word order – adverb placement]I’m completely at a loss for words. To be honest, though, it has art-for-art’s-sake vibes.
A – Totes[k3: slang/informal – inappropriate in semi-formal tone]Totally. What’s amusing – they probably have a booklet over there which says it’s all about a flexible approach to time or something.
B – Ha-ha, or about consumer’s internal chaos[k4: article usage – general noun should be plural or indefinite]a consumer’s internal chaos in a digital age. Alright, let’s get out of here before I say too much.
A – Shh… Don’t turn around, that strange man in a coat seems to have heard us. He is staring right at us. Do you think it’s an artist[k4: article usage – should be "the" as it's a specific person implied]the artist?
B – Gosh. Now I’ll have to backpedal. Hope he hasn’t heard about the attic.
A – Either way, we will eat our words and say we have been trying to dig deeper [k4: tense consistency – switch to past narrative]had been trying to dig deeper searching for a hidden meaning. Well, I haven’t planned to wear my heart on my sleeve in front of the author…
Dialogue 1: Choosing a Country to Specialize In
A: Sorry to bother you, I see you filling [k4: verb form - should be present continuous] are filling out the same application as I'm completing. Totally torn between the UK and USA. Mind if I ask which way you're leaning?
B: No problem, but, honestly, I'm in two minds myself. I've set my sights on the US, though. The discrepancies in the states' legislation provide a research space for international law nerds like me. What are your interests?
A: I'm more into international relations. Shifts on the political scene are just fascinating to follow. That's why I'm leaning towards the UK. It has launched a course on independent policy-making after Brexit. Nice attempt to restore the British mightiness, isn't it?
B: In my humble opinion, no, it isn't. Such a rash decision has cost the British authorities an arm and a leg. Leaving the UN [k3: factual error - should be EU] EU economic zone, the UK has terminated a huge number of lucrative trade contracts. Now the country is facing a low-skilled workforce shortage.
A: There is a grain of truth in what you're saying. Anyway, I believe the temporary crisis is worth of [k3: incorrect preposition] worth self-sufficient existence the UK will enjoy in the future. It's capable of rebuilding trade deals from scratch.
B: Well, I see you're a trade geek. Then the US may be your thing as well. The competition between the US and China, two superpowers, is currently unfolding.
A: This rivalry is quite curious, I agree. Even with this in mind, though, I'd rather opt for the UK. My heart tells me I will be happy working with snobbish British subjects.
B: You're right – making such a big decision, one should rely on their own inclinations and intuition.
A: What are you choosing?
B: The US. MAGA movement in my veins.
A: It was nice chatting with you. Thanks for discussion [k4: article needed] the discussion.
B: My pleasure.
Dialogue 2: Debate on Racial Issues in the UK
A: Good afternoon, glad to be discussing such a burning issue with you. I know, we don't see eye to eye about it, but I will try to stand my ground.
B: Good afternoon, nice to meet you. I strongly believe that «the burning issue» is no longer a burning one. Racial prejudice is a relic of the past. Diversity, equity and inclusivity programs are introduced in the workplace.
A: That's true, it's a veneer of a [k4: article not needed] racial equality, though. People of colour are still looked down on and mistreated by government bodies. According to the statistics provided by the «National Polls», the police are prone to arrest the members of ethnic minorities more frequently that [k5: spelling error] than whites.
B: I wouldn't trust the statistics spread by unofficial channels. They serve as manipulation tools to shape the public opinion. I prefer to trust only my eyes. Just enter any office or educational institution and take a look – you'll see a rich tapestry of nations working together for the sake of their common homeland's prosperity.
A: You've painted a rosy picture. To make it a down-to-earth one, we should take a second look. What would we witness? Just a few underpaid specialists of various backgrounds struggling to break the glass ceiling. That's a real world, not fiction.
B: Can't agree here. The situation you've described is an exception rather than the rule. The employers are stimulated to hire citizens of African and Asian backgrounds by the state subsidies. Moreover, they are provided a considerable monetary support [k3: unnatural collocation] considerable financial support to settle down in their new home.
A: You see, you're contradicting yourself. The fact that people of colour receive a special treatment is evidence of positive discrimination practices in workplace, which is considered to be a form of racism.
B: Fair point. But in any case, I won't change my mind. You're picking at trifles. No reform can be launched without any difficulties to overcome. The UK has made awe-inspiring progress in eliminating racism.
A: Well, so many men, so many minds.
A: Sorry to bother you, I see you filling [awkward phrasing]see you're filling out the same application as I’m completing. Totally torn between the UK and USA. Mind if I ask which way you’re leaning? B: No problem, but, honestly, I’m in two minds myself. I’ve set my sights on the US, though. The discrepancies in the states’ legislation provide a research space [unnatural phrasing]an excellent field of research for international law nerds like me. What are your interests? A: I’m more into international relations. Shifts on the political scene are just fascinating to follow [wordy and vague]I'm fascinated by political shifts and global dynamics. That’s why I’m leaning towards the UK. It has launched a course on independent policy-making after Brexit. Nice attempt to restore the British mightiness, isn’t it? [colloquial and vague]A notable attempt to reassert Britain's global influence, wouldn’t you agree? B: In my humble opinion, no, it isn’t. Such a rash decision has cost the British authorities an arm and a leg [too informal]has significantly strained the British economy. Leaving the UN economic zone, the UK has terminated a huge number of lucrative trade contracts. Now the country is facing a low-skilled workforce shortage. A: There is a grain of truth in what you’re saying [informal phrase]Your point is partially valid. Anyway, I believe the temporary crisis is worth of [grammar]worth the self-sufficient existence the UK will enjoy in the future. It’s capable of rebuilding trade deals from scratch. B: Well, I see you’re a trade geek. Then the US may be your thing as well. The competition between the US and China, two superpowers, is currently unfolding. A: This rivalry is quite curious, I agree. Even with this in mind, though, I’d rather opt for the UK. My heart tells me I will be happy working with snobbish British subjects [inappropriate tone]the traditionally formal British public. B: You’re right – making such a big decision, one should rely on their [agreement with 'one']one’s own inclinations and intuition. A: What are you choosing? B: The US. MAGA movement in my veins. A: It was nice chatting with you. Thanks for discussion [missing article]the discussion. B: My pleasure.
A: Good afternoon, glad to be discussing such a burning issue [overused metaphor, consider varying style]pressing matter with you. I know, we don’t see eye to eye about it, but I will try to stand my ground. B: Good afternoon, nice to meet you. I strongly believe that «the burning issue» is no longer a burning one. Racial prejudice is a relic of the past. Diversity, equity and inclusivity programs are introduced [tense/voice]being implemented in the workplace. A: That’s true, it’s a veneer of a racial equality, though [awkward phrasing]only a superficial appearance of racial equality. People of colour are still looked down on and mistreated by government bodies. According to the statistics provided by the «National Polls», the police are prone to arrest the members of ethnic minorities more frequently that [spelling]than whites. B: I wouldn’t trust the statistics spread by unofficial channels. They serve as manipulation tools to shape the public opinion [article use]public opinion. I prefer to trust only my eyes. Just enter any office or educational institution and take a look – you’ll see a rich tapestry of nations working together for the sake of their common homeland’s prosperity. A: You’ve painted a rosy picture. To make it a down-to-earth one, we should take a second look. What would we witness? Just a few underpaid specialists of various backgrounds struggling to break the glass ceiling [cliché—could vary style]systemic barriers to advancement. That’s a real world, not fiction. B: Can’t agree here. The situation you’ve described is an exception rather than the rule. The employers are stimulated [wordy/passive]Employers are incentivized to hire citizens of African and Asian backgrounds by the state subsidies. Moreover, they are provided a considerable monetary support [article + countability]considerable financial support to settle down in their new home. A: You see, you’re contradicting yourself. The fact that people of colour receive a special treatment [article use]special treatment is evidence of positive discrimination practices in the workplace, which is considered to be a form of racism. B: Fair point. But in any case, I won’t change my mind. You’re picking at trifles [too informal]focusing on minor issues. No reform can be launched without any difficulties to overcome. The UK has made awe-inspiring progress in eliminating racism. A: Well, so many men, so many minds [archaic idiom]everyone has their own view.