8 July, 2026

Checked New TOEFL Email

Checked Version

Dear Dean's Office,

I am writing regarding an opportunity to take [k3: inaccurate word choice — “opportunity” sounds positive, but this is a formal request caused by a serious problem] the possibility of applying for an academic leave of absence.

I have been suffering from [k3: slightly emotional wording for a formal administrative email] receiving treatment for blood cancer for two months right now [k3: redundant phrase] now.

I have been receiving treatment for blood cancer for the past two months.

I had thought [k3: less natural tense choice here] initially thought that it would be possible to combine studying with treatment [k3: unnatural collocation] combine my studies with treatment, but I have become much weaker and cannot concentrate on my assignments or attend lectures because of the chemo [k1: too informal for a formal email] chemotherapy.

I initially thought that it  would be possible to combine my studies with treatment, but I have become much weaker and can no longer concentrate on my assignments or attend lectures regularly because of the chemotherapy.

Could you please provide me with   [k5: syntax — extra space] information about all of the necessary documents to submit [k3: wordy/unnatural phrasing] which sipporting documents are required to support my request. [k5: syntax — this is a direct question, so it needs a question mark] ?

I also wonder how long the academic leave [k3: repetition — “academic leave of absence” has already been used] such leave may last, since I cannot be sure when I will be able to return to the university.

Will I be able to resume my studies after the treatment [k3: repetition — “treatment” has already been used several times] it ends?

Thank you for your time.

Best regards,
Mariia

Corrected Version

Dear Dean's Office,

I am writing regarding the possibility of applying for an academic leave of absence.

I have been receiving treatment for blood cancer for the past two months. I initially thought that it would be possible to combine my studies with treatment, but I have become much weaker and can no longer concentrate on my assignments or attend lectures regularly because of the chemotherapy.

Could you please let me know what documents I need to submit to support my request? I would also appreciate information about the application procedure and how long such leave may last, since I cannot be sure when I will be able to return to the university. Will I be able to resume my studies after my treatment ends?

Thank you for your time.

Best regards,
Mariia

Alternative Higher-Scoring Version without the monotonous repetition of 'I' in every sentence

Dear Dean's Office,

I am writing to ask about the possibility of applying for an academic leave of absence. For the past two months, I have been receiving treatment for blood cancer. At first, continuing my studies during treatment seemed possible, but chemotherapy has made me much weaker and has seriously affected my concentration.

As a result, attending lectures regularly, completing assignments on time, and preparing for exams have become extremely difficult.

Could you please let me know what supporting documents are required for an academic-leave application? It would also be helpful to receive information about the application procedure, the possible duration of such leave, and whether studies can be resumed after the treatment is completed.

Thank you for your time and assistance.

Best regards,
Mariia

Score: 24 / 30

Criterion Score Feedback
Task achievement 9 / 10 You address the task well. You explain why you may need academic leave, describe how the illness affects your studies, ask about documents, ask about the possible length of the leave, and ask whether you can resume your studies afterward. To make the answer even stronger, you should also ask more directly about the application procedure.
Language accuracy 7 / 10

Your meaning is clear, and the grammar is mostly accurate. The main issues are unnatural collocations such as “opportunity to take,” “combine studying with treatment,” the informal word “chemo,” and the missing question mark after a direct question.

Also avoid using 'I' in every subject: it lowers the level of your expression to a certain degree.
Formality, clarity, and organisation 8 / 10 You sound polite and serious, which suits the task. However, some wording should be more formal, and the final request paragraph would be clearer if it included the procedure, documents, duration, and return to studies in one organised sequence.

Main Rephrases

  • an opportunity to take an academic leave of absence → the possibility of applying for an academic leave of absence
  • I have been suffering from blood cancer for two months right now → I have been receiving treatment for blood cancer for the past two months
  • combine studying with treatment → combine my studies with treatment
  • because of the chemo → because of the chemotherapy
  • information about all of the necessary documents to submit → information about the documents I need to submit
  • how long the academic leave may last → how long such leave may last

Potentially Missed or Debatable Issues

The phrase “suffering from blood cancer” is understandable and not grammatically wrong, but “receiving treatment for blood cancer” sounds more neutral and professional in an email to a university office.

The word “chemo” is common in spoken English, but in a formal email it is better to write “chemotherapy.”

The email is strong in task achievement, but it would sound more complete if you added one phrase about the application procedure, for example: “Could you also explain the application procedure?” 

Finally, avoid overuse of I-based setnences

Checked TOEFL Academic Discussion Response

Checked Version

While both Kelly and Paul present valid points and have merit [k2: redundancy — these phrases repeat the same idea] make convincing arguments, I mostly agree with Kelly and would like to build on her argument.

While both Kelly and Paul make convincing arguments, I mostly agree with Kelly and would like to build on her point.

Kelly's perspective resonates with me, since television does influence our behaviour. [k0: task achievement — you refer to Kelly, but you do not clearly connect your point to her specific idea about inactivity and health risks] Kelly’s perspective resonates with me because long hours of television watching can reduce physical activity and encourage unhealthy routines.

To make things worse [k1: slightly informal / emotional for an academic discussion] More importantly, it may become addictive and make people forget about their own life, responsibilities, other interests and so on [k3: vague informal ending] and social activities.

More importantly, it may become addictive and make viewers neglect their responsibilities, hobbies, and social life.

It is especially true when you consider people [k3: word repetition — “people” has already been used in the previous sentence] individuals who are suffering from any kind of emotional problems [k3: unnatural phrasing] emotional distress, for example, depression or a loss of a closed one [k3: wrong word choice] the loss of a loved one.

They become extremely vulnerable and get addicted quickly [k3: overly absolute phrasing] may become especially vulnerable and develop this habit more easily.

This may be especially true for individuals experiencing emotional distress, such as depression or the loss of a loved one, because television can become an easy form of escape.

I understand Paul's point that television might broaden one's horizons, however, [k5: syntax — “however” should not join two independent clauses with commas only] . However, it is the exact reason why [k3: unnatural / too absolute phrasing] one reason why people [k3: word repetition] viewers become attached to the screen.

I understand Paul’s point that television can broaden viewers’ horizons. However, this variety of engaging content is also one reason why they may become attached to the screen.

A good illustration of this is a psychological term called escapism, which literally explains why people want to escape reality [k3: imprecise phrasing — a term does not “literally explain”; it names or describes a behaviour] describes the desire to escape from reality and dive into other's stories [k4: incorrect possessive form + k3: unnatural phrasing] other people’s stories so much so that it becomes their main interest [k3: unclear reference — “it” could refer to escapism, television, or stories] watching television becomes their main pastime.

A good illustration of this is escapism, which describes the desire to avoid real-life problems by immersing oneself in fictional or distant worlds until television becomes the main pastime.

That said [k2: incorrect linking — “That said” usually introduces contrast, but here you need a conclusion] Therefore, television is one of the escapism's sources [k3: unnatural phrasing + k4: incorrect possessive structure] the sources of escapism; therefore, people [k3: word repetition] viewers should find a balance between television programmes and real life and not waste their time in front of the screen.

Therefore, television can become a source of escapism, so viewers should balance screen time with real-life responsibilities and relationships.

Corrected Version

While both Kelly and Paul make convincing arguments, I mostly agree with Kelly and would like to build on her point. Kelly’s perspective resonates with me because long hours of television watching can reduce physical activity and encourage unhealthy routines. More importantly, it may become addictive and make viewers neglect their responsibilities, hobbies, and social life. This may be especially true for individuals experiencing emotional distress, such as depression or the loss of a loved one, because television can become an easy form of escape. I understand Paul’s point that television can broaden viewers’ horizons. However, this variety of engaging content is also one reason why they may become attached to the screen. A good illustration of this is escapism, which describes the desire to avoid real-life problems by immersing oneself in fictional or distant worlds until television becomes the main pastime. Therefore, viewers should balance screen time with real-life responsibilities and relationships.

Alternative Higher-Scoring Version

While both Kelly and Paul make convincing arguments, I mostly agree with Kelly that the most significant effect of television is its impact on people’s daily habits and health. Long hours of watching programmes can reduce physical activity, which may contribute to weight gain and other health problems. I would also add that television can become addictive, especially for people experiencing emotional distress, because it offers an easy escape from real-life problems. Paul is right that programmes about nature or travel can broaden viewers’ horizons. However, this educational value may be outweighed if people become attached to the screen and start neglecting their responsibilities, hobbies, and relationships. Therefore, television should be watched in moderation.

Score: 22 / 30

Criterion Score Feedback
Task achievement 7 / 10 You state your position clearly and refer to both Kelly and Paul. However, you do not connect Kelly’s point strongly enough to her exact argument about inactivity and health. Your main idea about addiction and escapism is interesting, but it needs to be tied more directly to the question: the most significant effect of television.
Development and logic 7 / 10 You develop a thoughtful idea about escapism and emotional vulnerability. However, the logic would be stronger if you showed a clearer chain: television attracts viewers → they watch for too long → they become inactive or detached from real-life responsibilities → their well-being suffers.
Language accuracy and style 8 / 10 Your vocabulary is quite strong: “resonates with me,” “broadens one’s horizons,” “escapism,” and “vulnerable” are useful expressions. Some phrases need correction, such as “loss of a closed one,” “other’s stories,” “the escapism’s sources,” and the linking phrase “That said.”

Main Rephrases

  • present valid points and have merit → make convincing arguments
  • television does influence our behaviour → long hours of television watching can reduce physical activity and encourage unhealthy routines
  • forget about their own life, responsibilities, other interests and so on → neglect their responsibilities, hobbies, and social life
  • a loss of a closed one → the loss of a loved one
  • people want to escape reality and dive into other's stories → people avoid real-life problems by immersing themselves in other people’s stories
  • one of the escapism's sources → a source of escapism

Potentially Missed or Debatable Issues

The phrase “Kelly’s perspective resonates with me” is natural and appropriate, but in a TOEFL Academic Discussion response it should be followed by a more precise reference to Kelly’s actual point about physical inactivity.

The idea of escapism is relevant and mature, but it should not replace the task focus completely. To score higher, connect escapism to the main effect you choose: for example, reduced activity, poorer health, or neglect of responsibilities.

The response is a little longer than necessary, but that is not a serious problem. The main issue is not length, but keeping one central effect clearly in focus throughout the answer.

8 July, 2026

Checked New TOEFL Interview

Response 1

Luckily, I haven't had any serious illnesses during my life [k4: unnatural preposition] in my life.

Fortunately, I have never had any serious health problems.

But, for instance, I remember that during my stay in Hungary, I got [k3: informal/basic word choice — a more idiomatic phrase is possible] came down with a terrible fever or [k5: indistinct/mispronounced word — probably “of”] of 39 degrees Celsius.

For example, while I was staying in Hungary, I came down with a terrible fever of 39 degrees Celsius.

And that day, I had a ticket to my favorite artist concert [k4: incorrect possessive structure + k3: unnatural phrasing] artist's concert and I couldn't miss it. So I did attend it.

Unfortunately, I had a ticket to my favorite artist’s concert that same day, and I felt I simply could not miss it.

And that resulted in a 20 days long cough [k4: incorrect compound adjective / number structure] twenty-day cough and the loss of voice [k3: unnatural phrasing] loss of my voice.

I paid the price for that decision: I ended up with a cough that lasted about twenty days and completely lost my voice.

I couldn't get any medical help in the hospital [k3: inaccurate wording — you probably mean medical help generally, not one specific hospital] at a hospital because I didn't know Hungarian.

Getting medical help was difficult because I could not communicate in Hungarian.

So I just had to buy some kind of pills [k3: vague/informal wording] some medication that my parents suggested me buying [k4: incorrect verb pattern after “suggest”] suggested I buy.

So I had to buy some medication that my parents suggested I should take.

Luckily [k3: repetition — “luckily” was already used at the beginning] Thankfully, I didn't have any consequences [k3: unnatural word choice] lasting complications.

Thankfully, I did not suffer any lasting complications.

Corrected Version

Fortunately, I have never had any serious health problems. However, I remember one time when I was staying in Hungary and came down with a terrible fever of 39 degrees Celsius. Unfortunately, I had a ticket to my favorite artist’s concert that same day, and I felt I simply could not miss it, so I still went.

I paid the price for that decision: I ended up with a cough that lasted about twenty days and completely lost my voice. Getting medical help was difficult because I could not communicate in Hungarian, so I had to buy some medication that my parents suggested I should take. Thankfully, I did not suffer any lasting complications, but I definitely learned my lesson the hard way.

Alternative Higher-Scoring Version

Fortunately, I have never had a serious illness, but I do remember one unpleasant experience from my stay in Hungary. I came down with a fever of 39 degrees Celsius on the very day I had a ticket to my favorite artist’s concert. I felt I could not miss it, so I went despite feeling terrible.

That decision really took its toll. I ended up with a cough that lasted about twenty days and lost my voice completely. Since I did not speak Hungarian, getting medical help was difficult, so I had to rely on medication my parents recommended. Thankfully, there were no long-term complications, but the experience taught me not to ignore my health just because I do not want to miss an event.

Score: 22 / 30

Criterion Score Feedback
Content and development 8 / 10 You give a clear personal story with a beginning, a problem, a consequence, and a lesson. The answer is easy to follow. To make it stronger, add one sentence about what you learned from the experience.
Lexical resource 7 / 10 You use understandable vocabulary, but some phrases sound basic or unnatural: “got a fever,” “some kind of pills,” and “didn't have any consequences.” Stronger phrases are “came down with a fever,” “medication,” and “lasting complications.”
Grammar range and accuracy 7 / 10 You communicate the story clearly, but there are several grammar issues: “artist concert,” “20 days long cough,” and “suggested me buying.” You can also vary your sentence openings more.

Monotonous Pattern Notice

You use many sentences beginning with I:

I haven't had... / I remember... / I had a ticket... / I couldn't miss it... / I couldn't get... / I didn't know...

This is not “wrong,” especially in a personal interview answer, but it can sound monotonous. Try varying the structure:

  • During my stay in Hungary, I came down with a fever...
  • That same day, there was a concert I had been looking forward to...
  • As a result, the cough lasted almost three weeks...
  • Because I did not speak Hungarian, getting medical help was difficult...

Useful Idiomatic Rephrases

  • got a terrible fever → came down with a terrible fever
  • that resulted in... → I paid the price for that decision
  • I lost my voice → I completely lost my voice
  • it had a bad effect on me → it really took its toll
  • I learned from it → I learned my lesson the hard way

Potentially Debatable / Recognition Issues

“fever or 39 degrees Celsius” is almost certainly a recognition problem. The intended phrase was probably “a fever of 39 degrees Celsius.”

The phrase “hospital” may also be imprecise rather than wrong. If you mean you could not access medical care in general, say “getting medical help was difficult.”

Response 2

Checked Version

On the top of my head [k5: indistinct/mispronounced words or k3: wrong idiom  -- Stress the preposition 'off' firmly.] Off the top of my head, the most widespread problem connected with teeth is caries.

Caries [k3: repetition — use “tooth decay” or “this condition”] Tooth decay problem arises [k3: unnatural phrasing] often develops when people eat unhealthy food like sweets or fast food and when they attend not to brush [k5: indistinct/mispronounced words — probably “tend not to brush”] do not brush their teeth properly.

Caries [k3: repetition — replace with “It” or “tooth decay”] It may lead to vulnerability of the teeth [k3: unnatural phrasing] weakened teeth and serious pain [k3: less natural collocation] severe toothache.

So that is why it is really important to do regular checkups [k3: unnatural collocation] have regular dental check-ups and not to eat unhealthy [k3: repetition — “unhealthy food” was already used] too much sugary food and brush your teeth properly.

Off the top of my head, the most common dental problem is tooth decay, or caries. It often develops when people eat too much sugary food or fail to brush their teeth properly. Over time, it can weaken the teeth and cause severe toothache. That is why it is important to have regular dental check-ups, maintain good oral hygiene, and avoid too many sweets.

Score: 20 / 30

Criterion Score Feedback
Content and development 7 / 10 You answer the question clearly and give causes and consequences. To improve, add one more specific detail, such as enamel damage, cavities, or the need for dental treatment.
Lexical-grammar resource 6 / 10 You use relevant vocabulary, but several phrases sound unnatural: “caries problem arises,” “vulnerability of the teeth,” and “do regular checkups.”
Fluency and range 7 / 10 Your answer is understandable, but you repeat “caries,” “unhealthy,” and “properly.” Try replacing repeated words with “tooth decay,” “this condition,” “sugary food,” and “good oral hygiene.”

Response 3

Checked Version

If I had to choose one major problem in the Russia's healthcare system [k4: incorrect article/possessive structure -- the zero article goes before proper names] Russia’s healthcare system, it would be the burnout of medical staff in public hospitals.

It is really great that Russians do have access to free medical care, but due to the fact that because medical staff is [k4: agreement — “staff” can be plural when referring to workers as individuals] are often underpaid and there is a flow of people in the hospitals every day every hour [k3: unnatural phrasing + k3: repetition] a constant flow of patients in hospitals, they become sick and tired of [k1: too informal for this answer] exhausted by their jobs and they treat people not really well [k3: unnatural phrasing] may not always communicate with patients properly.

If I had to choose one major problem in Russia’s healthcare system, it would be burnout among medical staff in public hospitals. Although it is important that Russian citizens have access to free medical care, doctors and nurses are often underpaid and have to deal with a constant flow of patients. As a result, they may become emotionally exhausted, which can affect the way they communicate with patients.

Useful idiomatic rephrases

  • sick and tired of their jobs → burned out / emotionally drained
  • a flow of people → a constant stream of patients
  • treat people not really well → provide less attentive care / become less patient with patients

Score: 22 / 30

Criterion Score Feedback
Content and development 8 / 10 You give a clear opinion and explain the cause of the problem: low pay and heavy workload. The answer would be stronger if you added one concrete example, such as long shifts, too many patients per doctor, or emotional exhaustion.
Lexical-grammar resource 7 / 10 You use relevant vocabulary such as “burnout,” “medical staff,” and “public hospitals.” Some wording needs improvement: “a flow of people,” “sick and tired,” and “treat people not really well.”
Fluency and range 7 / 10 Your answer is logical, but the second sentence is overloaded. Splitting it into two or three shorter sentences would make it clearer.

Response 4

Checked Version

I do support the idea that healthcare should be free for all citizens, at least the necessary basic medical treatment [k3: unnatural phrasing] for essential medical treatment.

This could be achieved through government, societal funds [k5: indistinct/mispronounced words or k3: unclear phrase — probably “government funding” or “public funds”] public funding.

To be more precise, people pay taxes, and I think that it is really important for them to have an access [k4: wrong article — “access” is uncountable here] access to the basic medical aid [k3: unnatural phrasing] basic medical care just to work further and live further [k3: unnatural phrasing] continue working and living normal lives.

I do support the idea that healthcare should be free for all citizens, at least for essential medical treatment. This could be achieved through public funding, since people already pay taxes. In my view, everyone should have access to basic medical care so that they can recover, continue working, and live normal lives.

Pattern note

You use several I-based structures: I do support, I think. That is not wrong in an interview, but you can vary the grammar:

  • In my view, essential medical treatment should be free for all citizens.
  • Since people pay taxes, public funding could cover basic care.
  • Access to basic treatment allows people to recover and return to normal life.

Score: 23 / 30

Criterion Score Feedback
Content and development 8 / 10 You give a clear opinion and support it with the idea of taxes and public funding. To improve, add a specific example, such as emergency treatment, cancer care, or treatment for children.
Lexical-grammar resource 7 / 10 Your vocabulary is appropriate, but “government, societal funds,” “an access,” “basic medical aid,” and “work further and live further” need correction.
Fluency and range 8 / 10 You sound clear and confident. The answer would sound more mature if you varied your sentence structures and used phrases like “public funding,” “essential treatment,” and “access to care.”

Response 5

Checked Version

On the top of my head [k5: indistinct/mispronounced words or k3: wrong idiom] Off the top of my head, I would say that the invention of penicillin was a breakthrough in medicine and played a vital role in the development of our civilization.

Since, as far as I know, it was the first man-made medication, in some ways suitable for all kinds of diseases. [k2: factual/logic problem — penicillin was not a universal medicine for all kinds of diseases; it is an antibiotic used against certain bacterial infections + k2: incomplete explanation] As far as I know, it was one of the first widely used antibiotics and changed the way doctors treated many bacterial infections.

it is a universal medicine and it did play a vital role. [k2: factual/logic problem — penicillin is not a universal medicine; this also repeats “played a vital role” from the first sentence] This made it a turning point in modern medicine.

Off the top of my head, I would say that the discovery of penicillin was a real breakthrough in medicine. It was one of the first widely used antibiotics and changed the way doctors treated many bacterial infections. Before antibiotics became available, even common infections could be life-threatening. For that reason, penicillin was a turning point in modern medicine and saved countless lives.

Useful idiomatic rephrases

  • played a vital role → was a game-changer / marked a turning point
  • a breakthrough in medicine → a medical breakthrough
  • suitable for all kinds of diseases → effective against many bacterial infections

Score: 17 / 30

Criterion Score Feedback
Content and development 5 / 10 You choose a strong example, but the explanation is factually inaccurate. Penicillin was not a universal medicine and did not treat all diseases. You need to say that it was important because it treated many bacterial infections and saved lives.
Lexical-grammar resource 6 / 10 You use some good phrases, such as “breakthrough in medicine” and “played a vital role,” but they are repeated and not developed accurately enough.
Fluency and range 6 / 10 The answer is understandable, but it sounds repetitive and unfinished. You should add a clearer cause-and-effect explanation: penicillin treated bacterial infections → fewer people died from infections → medicine changed dramatically.