The Roman Conquest

1. Original: The air in my forge feels like hopelessness, heavy with hopelessness [Lexis: "feels like hopelessness" is slightly awkward; "heavy with hopelessness" is more idiomatic.].

Corrected: The air in my forge feels heavy with hopelessness, a suffocating gas that fills me with despair.

2. Original: I can still hear the echoes of laughter from days long ago, but now they feel like distant memories seem like distant memories [Lexis: "seem" is more precise than "feel" in this context.], drowned out by the endless clang of metal on metal.

Corrected: I can still hear the echoes of laughter from days long ago, but now they seem like distant memories drowned out by the endless clang of metal on metal.

3. Original: I used to have the sense of meaning a sense of purpose [Style: "a sense of purpose" is more natural and commonly used.] in my life, but now all I see are my calloused and weary hands and bright hot iron.

Corrected: I used to have a sense of purpose in my life, but now all I see are my calloused and weary hands and bright hot iron.

1. The air in my forge feels like hopelessness [k3: is slightly awkward.] heavy with hopelessness,  suffocating gas that fills me with despair.

 

2. I can still hear the echoes of laughter from days long ago, but now they feel like distant memories seem like distant memories [k3], drowned out by the endless clang of metal on metal.

3. I used to have the sense of meaning a sense of purpose [k3: "a sense of purpose" is more natural and commonly used.] in my life, but now all I see are [k4] is my calloused and weary hands and bright hot iron.

4. The Romans have come, and with them, they’ve stolen [k3: "with them" is redundant and makes the sentence wordy.] have stolen [k4: I would use Past Simple here to refer to a moment that is already in the past] came and stole not only our land / stealing not only our land. / It is not only the land that the Southern bastards have taken.

6.  Mellow and tranquil were our days before their arrival/intrusion. My forge was a place where the rhythmic clang of hammer on anvil sang a song of creativity and contribution [k3: disruption of the collocation] craftsmanship.

Villagers would come to make another request /with their orders for tools and, rarely though, souvenirs, never forgetting to bring me some butter or honey and never missing/overlooking the opportunity to gossip.

8. I shared quiet moments by the fire with my beloved wife, [k5: It is a descriptive relative clause, which requires a comma] whose eyes were the brightest grey eyes [k4: "brightest grey eyes" should be followed by a clause for clarity.] brightest grey I had ever seen, dreaming of the joyful future [k4] a joyful future. 

“One day, I’ll forge a sword worthy of a king,” I would declare with my heart swelling with ambition.

10. But that world shattered the day the Romans arrived, their legions shining in the sun and marching into our village like a dark storm cloud [k3:  overly simplistic] as ominous as a dark storm cloud.

11. “We come [k4: tense!] in peace,” their leader proclaimed, but the chill in the air told the opposite [k3:  awkward phrase] betrayed their true intentions.

12. Now, as I stand  in my forge, I feel like a ghost haunting my own body.

13. Days turned into weeks, and I found myself caught in a web of despair. [k2: or use a present tense here!]

14. “You’ve become one of them!”, [k5: Incorrect placement of the comma after the quotation mark.] my wife remarked [k1: underdeveloped plot], her voice filled with sorrow.

15. My existence from vibrant had turned into bleak [k3: word order not typical for English] had turned from vibrant to bleak, and I wondered if I would ever reclaim the spirit of my people or if I was destined [k2: tense!] to be a mere shadow of my former self.[k2: coherence: why do you feel like a shadow of your own self?]

 

The Magna Carta

 

1. Being a freeman turned out to be not so bad [k1: too informal] rather favorable recently. My hands are still weathered from the hard work in the fields, but now no one can take this land from me. My beautiful [k3: add more expressive description] radiant wife still has her hands dirty helping me grow the crops, but now / yet, the king doesn’t [k1: no short forms] does not take half of them as taxes. / Although my radiant wife still has her hands dirty helping me grow the crops, the king no longer takes half of them as taxes. Life didn’t really change much [k3: awkward phrasing] has not changed significantly after the signing of the Magna Carta, but now / however, I find myself not feeling [k4: incorrect structure] feeling less vulnerable than I did for most of my life.

2. In our small yet friendly and charming village, no one was invested [k3: wrong word] interested in the process of those fights or negotiations—whatever you call it—between the king and the barons. We didn’t [k1: no short forms] did not expect that showdown to affect us in any way, as it had always been like that [k3: unclear phrasing] our village had always remained untouched by political disputes.However, when the barons rebelled and seized London, King John called upon his feudal levies, and some of our men—mere farmers and tradesmen—were forced into his army, dragged into the clashes at Rochester and Northampton. Many returned wounded, bearing scars from battles they never wished to fight.  In fact, As for the Magna Carta, we didn’t [k1: no short forms] did not even pay attention to what the Magna Carta it was promising us; we didn’t believe it [k3: awkward phrasing] doubting its promises. [Consider inversion for a more refined style] , We were too busy /Too busy were we, to think about politics, struggling /as we struggled to make ends meet, and had no time to think about politics. But then the taxes went lower [k3: incorrect phrase—use "were reduced"] were reduced, and we learned that we had rights (what rights?*). And, of course, we liked it. / Well, we couldn't but appreciate that.

 

3. “I dream of having time to spend with our kids,” my wife used to say back in the day. And I am glad to know one of her dreams came true. In fact, seeing her blue eyes glowing with joy [k5: awkward structure] joyful blue eyes shining is worth thanking those barons. It makes me think we’ve finally turned the corner and stepped into a brighter future.

Advice: Do not use short forms! Use participles, gerunds, infinitives and corresponding clauses more, use inversion and idioms. Do not neglect giving more detail about the transitory period. 

*Who Were the Small Landowners in Post-Magna Carta England (after1215)?

Although England was still dominated by feudal lords, some freemen (free tenants, yeomen, or socage holders) did own small parcels of land. However, their land was not fully independent property as we think of today—most of it was still subject to feudal obligations.

1. Free Tenants (Liberi Tenentes)

✅ Who were they?

• These were freemen who held land from a lord but had fixed and predictable obligations (unlike villeins, who were subject to arbitrary labor demands).
• They had some property rights and could not be arbitrarily evicted after Magna Carta.

✅ Post-Magna Carta Changes:

• Clause 39 of Magna Carta helped protect them from unjust eviction or land seizure by their lords.
• They could pass their land to their heirs without excessive feudal fees.

2. Socage Holders (Early Yeomen)

✅ Who were they?

• Socage tenure allowed small landowners to hold land in exchange for a fixed rent rather than military service.
• This group was small but growing, especially in areas of southern England.

✅ Post-Magna Carta Changes:

• Socage landholders were better protected from arbitrary demands by lords.
• Their rights to inherit land were strengthened.

3. Burgesses (Town Landowners)

✅ Who were they?

• These were freemen who owned property in towns and had economic power through trade and crafts.
• Many held charters granting self-governance and land rights within their towns.

✅ Post-Magna Carta Changes:

• Magna Carta confirmed the autonomy of many townships.
• Clause 13 protected their trading privileges, indirectly securing their property.

4. Minor Knights & Small Gentry

✅ Who were they?

• Some knights and lesser nobles owned small amounts of land.
• They held land in knight’s service, meaning they owed military duty but had greater independence than peasants.

✅ Post-Magna Carta Changes:

• Magna Carta limited the king’s ability to arbitrarily tax or seize their land.

What Did Magna Carta Change for Small Landowners?

Freemen & small landowners gained some protection from unjust feudal demands.
Land inheritance became more secure (lords couldn't impose excessive fees).
Fewer forced military obligations for small landholders under certain conditions.
Burgesses and town landowners gained stronger property rights in cities.

However, most land was still controlled by the nobility, and serfs (villeins) remained unfree.

Brexit

 

1. My bakery, Sereniteapot, is the reason for me to wake up each morning. However, over the years I have run [k4: tense inconsistency—use present perfect continuous] have been running it, some significant changes were [k4: tense] have been implemented to the concept of my small business. Brexit was an event I expected [k4: past perfect needed for prior expectation] had expected but sincerely hoped would not happen, as I understood how it would impact my work. I was right in thinking [k4: incorrect preposition] I was right to think it would be the toughest period of my life as a businesswoman. For four long years [k3: "long" is implied in "four years"] For four years, I lived / [k1: use inversion for emotiveness] lived I in a state of constant uncertainty and anxiety, waiting for Brexit to arrive. / For four years, I endured relentless uncertainty and anxiety, bracing myself for Brexit’s impact.

2. In the 2000s, my life was much easier, as I managed my business according to the lessons my father taught [k4: tense] had taught  me. I sourced [k3: more idiomatic—use "procured"] procured the best quality ingredients I could afford from various EU countries. / Back then, I ensured only the finest ingredients from across the EU found their way into my baker, following my father’s wisdom, who knew this business inside out. My bakery offered a wide range of pastries from around the world, which helped it gain popularity. [k2: Link word needed] Little wonder that M many customers became regulars because of the diverse selection and affordability of my products. / As a result, the bakery’s diverse selection and reasonable prices turned many first-time visitors into loyal patrons. /With such a wide selection and fair prices, it was hardly a shock that many customers kept coming back.

3. However, things turned upside down after Brexit. I had to deal with a lot of [k1: informal—use "numerous" or "an abundance of"] numerous new bureaucracy/red tape and ended up losing nearly all of my suppliers from abroad. It became increasingly difficult to find [k3: "find" is too general—use "source"] source certain products in local shops. / Tracking down key ingredients locally turned into an exhausting challenge. [An introductory phrase is recommended here] As a result, I had to keep increasing prices, even as the quality of my pastries began to decline. / Despite my efforts, my pastries’ quality inevitably suffered as prices kept climbing. A new concept was necessary to save Sereniteapot, and this change came about through my old friend Jessica. “What if we combined my local farm with your bakery?” [k3: incorrect verb—use "merged"] “What if we merged my local farm with your bakery?” she suggested one day. Without much thought, I agreed.

4. Now, Sereniteapot specializes in original British recipes and pastries made from local ingredients. While I have managed to overcome the challenges posed by Brexit and feel more experienced, I sometimes miss my old global bakery [k3: awkward phrasing—use "long for the days of my international bakery"] long for the days of my international bakery. / Even after adapting, nostalgia for my once-global bakery still lingers. Still, that does not mean I do not appreciate what it has become today. / Yet, I take pride in the new identity my bakery has embraced.

Tip: Do not overdo with I- sentences. Instead make an object the subject and adapt grammar to it. For example: As a result, I had to keep increasing prices, even as the quality of my pastries began to decline. -->  As a result, prices kept climbing even with my pastries’ quality inevitably suffering.

You can rewrite your works here

Criterion	Points
k0 Content / Task fulfilment	14 / 20
k1 Word count	4 / 4
k2 Coherence & logic	3 / 4
k3–k5 Language accuracy and variety	6 / 8
k0 Creativity	3 / 4
TOTAL	30 / 40

This is a solid Olympiad-level result, not a weak one.

The main limiting factor is  task fulfilment, not language:

•  Before / during plague — strong
•  Direct speech — present
•  After the plague — too short and static
•  Character change over time — emotionally deep but not dynamic
•  Historical plausibility slightly strained (“only man alive”)
• Grammar variety - repeated use of identical first-person sentence openings (I…)

These affect k0 (20 points), which is the dominant criterion.

How easily tautology could be fixed (important)

Replacing just 4–5 “I + verb” clauses with:

• extraposition (It remained unclear why…)
• passive (No solace was found in survival…)
• nominalisation (Survival became a burden rather than a gift…)

You can rewrite your works here

Growing up as an orphan living in a parish, my life had always been steady.

I was a quick learner and had many Latin prayers learned by heart [k3/k2: unnatural phrasing - It is only and you yourself that memorizes prayers! Payers can't be memorized for you by others!] had memorized many Latin prayers by the age of 12. //By the age of 12, I had memorized dozens of Latin prayers.

I had a clear vision of our spiritual traditions and partook in [k4: wrong preposition] took part in charity events. //...and regularly participated in charitable work.

That peace lasted until a single royal decree shattered our world.

There was no warning - [k5: syntax (punctuation) — use an em dash or a full stop] — officials came to our parish one day and took it all. //There was no warning—officials arrived one morning and stripped the parish bare.

“This is now the property of the Crown,” the tallest man said, his voice flat.

“The old ways are outdated.” [k1: a bit too modern]  // “The old ways are forbidden.”

The confiscation was a theft of the soul. //The confiscation felt like the theft of our very soul.

All our sacred relics were taken, our very faith was turned illegal [k3: inaccurate word choice] declared illegal. //...and our faith itself was declared unlawful.

The King’s men changed the language of our prayers, banned our old faith, and then allowed it back only to threaten it again. [k2: clarity/coherence — specify what “it” refers to (worship? the parish? the rites?) and how it was “allowed back”]

Over time, a deep weariness set in.

We stopped clinging so tightly to the things we owned, for the only constant in our lives was God. //...for God remained the only constant we could rely on.

Life became a loop of anxiety and adaptation.

Eventually,Now we have our parish back, and all our rights are restored. [k2: abrupt transition — add 1 linking sentence explaining when/how restoration happened]

Yet, a lifetime of fear has taught us a bitter lesson: to have something today is no promise you will have it tomorrow. //...that what is possessed today may be taken away tomorrow.

For almost my whole life, the shifting tides of power have played with us as if we were mere pieces on a board. //...as though we were disposable pieces moved at someone else’s whim

Scoring (40 points total)

1) Content / Содержание (20): 17/20
Covers the prompt well (parishioner + Reformation atmosphere), strong emotional angle. But you forgot to provide characters' description! .

2) Word count / Объём (4): 4/4
Approx. 228 words → within the “±10%” tolerance from 250 (225–330).

3) Logic & cohesion / Логика (4): 3/4
Overall coherent, but there is an abrupt time jump (“Now we have our parish back…”) and one unclear referent (“allowed it back…”).

4) Language / Языковое оформление (8): 7/8
Very strong style and control. A few local issues (phrasing, preposition, one word-choice fix).

5) Original creative approach / Оригинальность (4): 3/4
Vivid tone and metaphors (“theft of the soul,” “pieces on a board”). For 4/4, add a more distinctive personal detail (a specific relic, a named figure, a brief scene of a changed service).

Total: 34/40

The American Revolution ( not a summary!)

The American Revolution was an uprising transforming into a new nation [k5: syntactic cohesion – awkward participial construction causing unclear modification] that transformed into the creation of a new nation, which was a remarkable political occurrence.

Taxes like the Stamp Act were perceived as unfair and illegitimate, sparking a growing rejection of British authority and eventually leading to a war [k1: style – overly vague reference in a historical context] armed conflict.

Events like the Boston Massacre and the Boston Tea Party, the response to Parliament’s pressure [k5: syntactic cohesion – appositive phrase is logically unclear and loosely attached] which were responses to Parliament’s pressure, turned this discontent into active armed rebellion.

The early battles of Lexington and Bunker Hill, while being costly [k1: style – unnecessary verbal construction] though costly, solidified the soldiers’ spirit and demonstrated that the colonists could fight.

The true cornerstone was the Declaration of Independence in 1776, which formally proclaimed the necessity of liberty [k3: lexical choice – inaccurate collocation] principle of liberty and self-government.

The war was a desperate endurance test, almost fruitless [k1: style – vague evaluative adjective] appearing nearly futile before key turning points such as the pivotal victory at Saratoga, featuring the crucial assistance from the French [k4: preposition] crucial assistance from France, and the final triumph at Yorktown.

In the end, the revolution succeeded not just through force of arms, but through a firm belief in the idea that people could govern themselves, turning a colonial uprising into an world-changing event [k4: article] a world-changing event.

[k1: task achievement – genre mismatch] The text functions as a retelling of historical events rather than a summary of a source. A summary should describe the author’s purpose, key ideas, and how they are presented or supported, rather than narrating events themselves.

 

[General note] The narrative is coherent and historically accurate, with effective use of evaluative language. Main weaknesses concern syntactic precision (participial and appositive constructions), occasional vague wording, and minor article/preposition issues. Overall, the text demonstrates solid control of historical exposition. But most importantly, it is not a summary! It is a retelling!  Whereas a summary does not retell history or events. It explains what the author/text focuses on, why, and how convincingly So, you will be given a 0 for this work.

American Revolution

The text discusses the American Revolution and how it grew from protests over taxes into a war for independence. Overall, the author argues that colonial discontent with British laws and taxes, like [k1: low register – use a more academic alternative] such asthe Stamp Act and Townshend Acts, slowly turned into a fight for self-government. To support this claim/ idea [k5: punctuation + k3: redundancy] claim, the text highlights key events such as the Boston Massacre, the Boston Tea Party, and the First Continental Congress. //To substantiate this argument, the passage outlines pivotal incidents including the Boston Massacre, the Boston Tea Party, and the convening of the First Continental Congress.

More specifically, battles unfolded at Lexington and Concord, and the Declaration of Independence formally announced the colonies’ break from Britain. As a result, the war continued with hard [k3: unnatural collocation] fierce battles and low points [k2: coherence] setbacks, also bringing France in as an ally, and  [k5: syntax – run-on sentence ] . Consequently, after years of bloodshed the Treaty of Paris in 1783 recognized [k5: comma afer linking phrase needed] , the Treaty of Paris (1783) recognized American independence. //After prolonged and arduous fighting, culminating in French support, the conflict ultimately ended with the Treaty of Paris (1783), which formally acknowledged American sovereignty.

[k1/2: Again you lapsed into retelling]

The author illustrates the gradual radicalization of colonial resistance by referring to the battles at Lexington and Concord and to the subsequent prolonged and fierce hostilities that eventually drew France into the conflict. The former culminated in the adoption of the Declaration of Independence, formally articulating the colonies’ political break from Britain, whereas the latter concluded with the Treaty of Paris (1783), which internationally recognized American sovereignty. (Thus, these historical details function not as mere narrative embellishment but as substantive evidence underpinning the author’s broader claim that the Revolution represented a progressive escalation of resistance ultimately legitimized on the global stage. //By structuring the account around these milestones, the writer reinforces the interpretation of the Revolution as a transformative process moving from protest to internationally sanctioned nationhood.)

The author’s tone is informative and proud, presenting the American Revolution as a heroic and world-changing event. To persuade the reader, the author uses chronological storytelling to show clear cause and effect.

In conclusion, the text suggests that the revolution was more than a war as [k5: punctuation required] , as it created a new nation based on liberty and the consent of the people. //Thus, the revolution is portrayed not merely as an armed conflict but as the foundation of a nation grounded in popular sovereignty and individual freedom.