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Septemeber 26, 2026
Demo test 1_Checked IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay
Task
The best way to solve the world's environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Checked Version
Environmental problems are widely debated, especially regarding whether the cost of fuel should be increased. Supporters cite the less use [k3: unnatural phrasing] the reduced use of fossil fuels, as it [k4: incorrect pronoun reference — “fuel” is meant here] fuel would be more expensive, while the opponents [k4: wrong article] opponents point to more destructive factors like plastic pollution.
In my opinion, making fuel costly is not the way to escape climate change [k3: unnatural collocation] an effective way to address climate change, as it would cause a lot of [k1: style/register — too informal for IELTS Writing Task 2] many problems in economical [k3: inaccurate word choice — “economic” refers to the economy; “economical” means cheap or efficient] economic terms, and people should be more concerned about their attitude towards nature.
In my opinion, increasing fuel prices is not the most effective way to address climate change because it may create serious economic difficulties, while individual behaviour towards nature also needs to change.
On the one hand, it is often argued that fuel is one of the most important aspects of environmental problems [k3: unnatural phrasing] factors contributing to environmental problems.
In practice, this means that a lot of [k1: style/register — too informal] many world catastrophes had happened [k4: wrong tense + k3: exaggerated wording] environmental disasters have occurred because of fuel spill to ocean [k4: wrong number form + k4: wrong preposition + k4: wrong article] fuel spills in the ocean and other places.
Put differently, fuel is easily available and a lot of [k1: style/register — too informal] many companies and governments use it in giant amounts [k1: style/register — too informal / imprecise] large quantities.
To avoid this problem [k5: syntax — comma needed after an introductory phrase], the cost of it could be raised.
Of course, these concerns are groundless [k3: inaccurate word choice + k2: contradiction — you have just explained why these concerns are serious, so “groundless” contradicts your argument] valid, but not decisive, as it may lead to another problems [k4: incorrect number form] other problems in the world.
Although raising fuel prices could reduce the use of fossil fuels, this measure may also create serious social and economic problems.
On the other hand, people need to be more cautious about their own actions. To give a clear example, people through [k3: inaccurate word choice] throw their plastic packages and other materials everywhere.
That is why nature is suffering and animals are dying, [k5: syntax — comma splice; separate the clauses or use a conjunction] because they eat this garbage and may also be stuck in it.
So [k1: style/register — too informal at the beginning of an essay sentence] Therefore, it is important to start from the scratch [k4: wrong article in fixed phrase] from scratch and then to think about larger-scale solutions.
Increasing the fuel cost is really [k1: style/register — too informal] a influential decision [k3: unnatural collocation] serious measure, because then all the prices [k3: overgeneralised phrasing] prices would be higher.
Everything is connected [k3: vague / cliché-like wording] Fuel prices affect transport, production and delivery costs, so people may suffer because of high prices and not favourable [k3: unnatural phrasing] unfavourable living conditions.
A sharp increase in fuel prices could make transport, food and basic goods more expensive, which would put pressure on ordinary people.
In conclusion, while fuel pollution deserve [k4: wrong subject-word agreement] deserves attention, I remain convinced that people need to begin from themselves [k3: unnatural phrasing] start with their own behaviour.
Nowadays, we have a lot of hard situations [k3: vague and unnatural phrasing] many serious problems in the world, so being a volunteer or simply take care [k4: wrong verb form — the structure should be parallel after “being”] taking care of nature are [k4: wrong subject-word agreement] is small steps to making [k4: incorrect number form + k4: wrong preposition] a small step towards making our planet better.
Therefore, environmental protection should begin with everyday actions, although broader government policies are also necessary.
Alternative Higher-Scoring Version
Environmental problems are widely debated, and one proposed solution is to increase the cost of fuel. Although this measure could reduce the use of fossil fuels, I do not fully agree that it is the best way to solve global environmental problems. In my view, higher fuel prices may help to some extent, but they should be combined with broader measures, such as reducing waste, improving public transport and encouraging responsible behaviour.
On the one hand, increasing the price of fuel could have some environmental benefits. If petrol and diesel became more expensive, people might drive less often and choose public transport, cycling or walking instead. Companies might also try to reduce unnecessary transport and invest in cleaner technologies. As a result, carbon emissions could fall, which would help to slow climate change. For this reason, fuel taxation can be one useful tool in environmental policy.
However, this measure also has serious disadvantages. Fuel prices affect not only private drivers but also food production, delivery services and public transport. If fuel becomes much more expensive, the prices of basic goods may rise, and ordinary people may suffer financially. This would be especially unfair to those who have no realistic alternative to using cars, such as people living in rural areas. Therefore, raising fuel prices alone cannot be considered the best solution.
Moreover, environmental problems are not limited to fuel consumption. Plastic waste, deforestation, overconsumption and pollution from factories also damage the planet. Governments should introduce stricter recycling systems, support renewable energy and invest in affordable public transport. At the same time, individuals should reduce waste, avoid unnecessary consumption and take better care of nature in their daily lives.
In conclusion, I partly agree that increasing fuel prices could reduce environmental damage, but I disagree that it is the best solution. A more effective approach would combine fuel regulation with public transport, cleaner energy, waste reduction and changes in people’s everyday habits.
Score
| Criterion | Estimated Band | Feedback |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 5.5 | You present a clear opinion: you mostly disagree that increasing fuel costs is the best solution. You also give reasons, including economic consequences and individual responsibility. However, the argument is not developed deeply enough. The paragraph about plastic pollution is relevant, but it does not fully explain why it is a better solution than raising fuel prices. You also need to discuss the fuel-price proposal more directly and in more detail. |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 | Your essay has a logical overall structure: introduction, argument for fuel-price increases, argument against them, and conclusion. However, some links are weak or contradictory. For example, you write that concerns about fuel are “groundless” after giving examples of damage caused by fuel. Some ideas also move too quickly from plastic waste to animal suffering and then to fuel prices. |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 | You use some useful topic vocabulary, such as “fossil fuels”, “plastic pollution”, “larger-scale solutions” and “living conditions”. However, there are many unnatural or inaccurate phrases, such as “escape climate change”, “economical terms”, “world catastrophes”, “giant amounts”, “begin from themselves” and “hard situations”. |
| Grammar Range and Accuracy | 5.0 | You attempt complex sentences, but grammar errors are frequent. There are problems with articles, verb tense, subject-verb agreement, prepositions and parallel structures: “fuel pollution deserve”, “world catastrophes had happened”, “another problems”, “from the scratch”, and “being a volunteer or simply take care”. These mistakes sometimes make the writing less clear. |
| Overall Estimated Band | 5.5 | The essay has a relevant position and enough ideas for the task, but development, coherence and language accuracy are not strong enough for Band 6.0 yet. |
Feedback for You
You answer the task and your opinion is clear: you do not think that increasing the cost of fuel is the best solution. This is good because IELTS Task 2 requires a direct position.
Your strongest idea is that higher fuel prices could create economic problems. You should develop this more clearly. For example, explain that transport, food delivery and production costs may increase, so ordinary people could suffer. This would make your argument much stronger.
You also mention plastic pollution and people’s behaviour towards nature. This is relevant, but you need to connect it more directly to the question. Explain why changing individual behaviour, reducing plastic waste or improving recycling would be more effective than only raising fuel prices.
Your main language problem is inaccurate phrasing. Avoid expressions such as “escape climate change”, “giant amounts”, “world catastrophes” and “hard situations”. Use more precise academic phrases such as “address climate change”, “large quantities”, “environmental disasters” and “serious problems”.
You should also be careful with logic. The sentence “these concerns are groundless” weakens your argument because you have just shown that fuel can damage the environment. A better phrase is “these concerns are valid, but not decisive”.
Speaking
Answer 1
Personally, I love that there are a lot of places to visit here. It is quite noisy, but I like the feeling that many people live in this area. There are also many families, so it is really nice to see children playing and spending time outside.
Personally, I like this place because there are many things to do and many places to visit. Although it can be noisy, the area feels lively, and I enjoy seeing families and children spending time outside.
Answer 2
In my opinion, the thing I would like to change is that it would be better if we had more parks, because there are many modern districts here. Because of that, we do not have many trees or plants, so it would be better to have more green spaces.
I would like my area to have more parks and green spaces. There are many modern districts, but not enough trees or plants, so the place would feel more comfortable if there were more nature around.
Answer 3
I think that it is a really good place to live, but I am a person who loves travelling, and I think that I would like to move somewhere else and experience another country.
It is a good place to live, but I love travelling and discovering new cultures, so I would probably like to move abroad at some point.
Answer 4
Oh, I love this question, as I am a huge fan of music, and I can say that I use my headphones all the time whenever I am free. I think I put them on maybe 20 times a day.
I love this question because I am a huge fan of music. I use my headphones whenever I have free time, probably around twenty times a day.
Answer 5
I use my headphones mainly for listening to music, and sometimes I use them for lessons. When I am not at home and need to study, I can sit in a café, put them on and have my lesson.
I mostly use my headphones to listen to music, but I also use them for online lessons, especially when I am outside and need to study in a café or another public place.
Answer 6
Personally, I would rather listen with headphones because they are really convenient, and now there are many modern versions of them. So, for me, headphones are always the best choice.
I prefer listening with headphones because they are convenient, portable and much better than they used to be. For me, they are usually the best option.
Answer 7
The teacher who immediately comes to mind is my history teacher, who taught me from about fourth to eighth grade. He was the best because he could explain everything in a funny and interesting way. I also had a really good relationship with him, so I will always remember him warmly.
The first teacher who comes to mind is my history teacher. He taught me for several years and made his lessons both funny and interesting. I had a very good relationship with him, and I will always remember him warmly.
Answer 8
Obviously, I think that the most important quality is knowledge, because only a smart person can become an effective teacher. I also think it is really important to have a good relationship with your students. A teacher needs to be kind and comfortable talking to children.
In my opinion, a good teacher needs strong subject knowledge, but they also need to be kind and approachable. Students learn better when they feel comfortable asking questions and talking to their teacher.
Answer 9
From my perspective, teachers really influenced my life because I spent a lot of time with them in primary and secondary school. I can say that they became my second family. I will remember many of them forever, and I would like to keep in touch with them in the future.
Teachers had a strong influence on my life because I spent so much time with them at school. Some of them became almost like a second family to me, and I would like to keep in touch with them in the future.
Answer 10
The story I would like to tell you about is a trip to Saint Petersburg. To begin with, I should say that I am not the biggest fan of travelling in my home country. I prefer to travel abroad, but I thought that the trip to Saint Petersburg would be really interesting because I am really into history and I know a lot about Peter the Great.
My family and I visited it maybe three years ago, in winter, on the third of December. The most interesting thing about this story is that I was really looking forward to visiting all the museums and historical places, but in fact I got ill. My parents and my sister visited all those places without me.
That is why it was a really boring trip for me, because the only things I did were eat hotel food and lie in bed. I was really disappointed because of that. Maybe I would like to visit Saint Petersburg again to see all the places I missed last time.
I would like to talk about a trip to Saint Petersburg. I am usually more interested in travelling abroad, but I was excited about this trip because I love history and wanted to visit museums and historical sites. Unfortunately, I got ill, so my family went sightseeing without me while I stayed in the hotel. That made the trip quite disappointing, and I would like to go there again to see everything I missed.
Answer 11
Yes, of course, I would like to visit that place again because I really want to have more time for sightseeing.
Yes, I would definitely like to go there again because I did not have enough time to enjoy the city and see its main sights properly.
Answer 12
Yes, my mother really enjoyed the visit because she loves this city and is into history too. She finds St. Petersburg a very attractive city.
Yes, my mother enjoyed the trip a lot because she loves history and finds Saint Petersburg very beautiful and culturally rich.
Answer 13
That is a good question. I have not thought about this before, but maybe some people are more prone to boredom because they are introverts. They do not really like to hang out with people, and they do not find it interesting to go to cool places to have fun, so maybe they prefer to lie in bed and do nothing.
Some people may be more prone to boredom because they are less sociable or less willing to try new activities. They may prefer staying at home instead of going out and looking for new experiences.
Answer 14
I think that the best thing people can do when they are bored is to meet their friends or do something connected with their hobbies. Personally, I love reading and playing football, so I usually do these activities when I feel bored. I think people can find many things to do so that they do not feel bored.
When people are bored, they should meet friends or spend time on their hobbies. For example, I usually read or play football, and these activities help me feel more energetic.
Answer 15
I do not really think so, because nowadays we have many places people can visit, such as computer rooms, clubs or cafés and restaurants. In the past, people did not have as many activities available as we do now, so my answer to this question is no.
I do not think people were less bored in the past. Nowadays, there are many more entertainment options, such as cafés, clubs, computer rooms and sports centres, while people in the past had fewer choices.
Answer 16
Yes, I think that being bored can be beneficial because when you are lying in bed and doing nothing, you can think about your life and the people around you. Maybe you can think of a business idea or some interesting thoughts, and this can even change your life.
I think boredom can sometimes be useful because it gives people time to think. When you are not busy, you can reflect on your life, your relationships or even new ideas for the future.
Answer 17
Obviously, when you do not have any plans, you may think that you will do nothing all day. It can be really sad for children, teenagers and for me too. When I have a free day and no plans, I sometimes feel depressed because it is boring, and sometimes you do not have anything you can do at home.
When people have no plans, they may feel that the whole day will be wasted. I sometimes feel this way too, especially if I stay at home and cannot think of anything interesting to do.
Answer 18
I think that the key to having a really exciting time is to have friends, because when there are people around you, they can come up with ideas for how to spend your free time. You can play games, do sports and think of many other activities. So I think the most important thing is to have people you can spend this time with.
I think the key to having an exciting time is being with friends. Other people can suggest new activities, such as games, sports or trips, so free time becomes much more enjoyable.
Estimated IELTS Speaking Score
| Criterion | Estimated Band |
|---|---|
| Fluency and Coherence | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Pronunciation | 6.0 |
| Overall Estimated Band | 5.5–6.0 |
October 02, 2026
Checked IELTS Speaking Part 2 Answer
Checked Version
I would like to talk about an article that I came across with [k4: wrong preposition — “come across” is used without “with”] came across not a long time ago [k3: unnatural phrasing] not long ago.
So [k3: filler / repetition], the first example that comes to mind is the November project article [k3: unclear phrasing] an article about the November Project.
It is about two friends who made the project the sport project [k3: unclear phrasing] started a free sports project. They really wanted to be in a good shape [k4: wrong article in a fixed expression] good shape, and they also thought about doing it for free.
So [k3: filler / repetition] the idea was that people pay a lot of money to be healthy. They paid for a gym membership [k4: wrong tense for a general situation] pay for gym memberships, and they're really overpriced [k3: unclear reference — “they” should refer clearly to memberships] these memberships are often overpriced.
So they wanted to make convenient sport facilities [k3: unnatural collocation] accessible free sports opportunities.
If my memory serves me correctly, I first came across that [k4: incorrect pronoun reference] it maybe last week, and it influenced [k5: pronunciation — stress should fall on the first syllable: /ˈɪn.flu.ənst/, not on the second syllable] influenced me in a good way [k3: basic / slightly informal phrasing] positively, as I thought that I pay too much money for my sport [k3: unnatural phrasing] my sports activities and I should find something similar to the November Project.
So maybe people can make more projects [k3: unnatural collocation] create more projects like that.
I would like to talk about an article I came across not long ago. It was about the November Project, a free sports initiative started by two friends who wanted to stay in good shape without paying for expensive gym memberships.
The article influenced me positively because it made me think that I might be spending too much money on sports activities. It also showed me that free community projects can help people stay healthy and feel motivated.
Alternative Higher-Level Version
I would like to talk about an article I came across recently. It was about the November Project, which is a free community fitness movement started by two friends. They wanted to stay in good shape, but they also realised that many people spend too much money on gym memberships, which can be overpriced.
The main idea of the project was to make sport more accessible. Instead of exercising only in expensive gyms, people could train together outdoors and support each other for free. I first read about this article last week, if I remember correctly, and it influenced me positively. It made me think about how much money I spend on sport and whether I could find similar free activities in my area.
I found the article inspiring because it showed that a simple idea can help people become healthier, save money and build a stronger community.
Main Rephrases
- came across with → came across
- not a long time ago → not long ago / recently
- the November project article → an article about the November Project
- made the project the sport project → started a free sports project
- in a good shape → in good shape
- gym membership → gym memberships
- convenient sport facilities → accessible free sports opportunities
- influenced → /ˈɪn.flu.ənst/
- in a good way → positively
- my sport → my sports activities
- make more projects → create more projects
Estimated IELTS Speaking Score
| Criterion | Estimated Band |
|---|---|
| Fluency and Coherence | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0–5.5 |
| Pronunciation | 5.5 |
| Overall Estimated Band | 5.5 |
Checked IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay
Task
Are gyms really that important for healthy living? Outline the main stereotypes people have about fitness and ways to make it free and even more enjoyable.
Checked Version
The usefulness of gyms has become a common topic of discussion. This essay will explore whether gyms are so effective for health [k3: unnatural phrasing] essential for healthy living and discuss the most common stereotypes about fitness.
To address the first question, it is important to consider that going to gym [k4: wrong article] the gym is not the only way to be in a good shape [k4: wrong article in a fixed expression] good shape. In simple terms, that means that [k3: wordy phrasing] this means that people can find various types of places to do sports and even online workouts.
For instance, two years ago I found gym [k4: wrong article] the gym extremely boring for myself [k3: unnatural phrasing] personally, so I started attending pilates [k5: capitalization error] Pilates classes and also I did online yoga course [k4: wrong article + k3: unnatural collocation] took an online yoga course. Therefore, i [k5: capitalization error] I was in my best shape and i [k5: capitalization error] I didn’t [k1: no short forms in formal writing !!!!!! did not have any trainings [k4: incorrect number form] training sessions in the gym.
For example, two years ago I found the gym extremely boring, so I started attending Pilates classes and took an online yoga course. As a result, I became fitter without training in a gym.
Turning to the second question, it becomes clear that people have misunderstandings [k3: less natural word choice] misconceptions about fitness, as they think that it is extremely hard to achieve their body goals [k1: register — too informal for an essay] fitness goals. The truth is that the key to success is to have a discipline [k4: wrong article + k3: unnatural phrasing] be disciplined and listen to your heart [k1: register — too informal / cliché-like for an IELTS essay] choose an activity you genuinely enjoy.
By that I mean that it is really important to make what you like [k3: inaccurate word choice] do what you enjoy. It is obvious, [k5: syntax — unnecessary comma after “obvious”!!!! Don't use Russian syntax in complementary clauses!!!] that you wouldn’t [k1: no short forms in formal writing !!!!] will not have a progress [k3: unnatural collocation + k4: wrong article] make progress if you do something you are not interested in.
Another stereotype is that fitness is expensive, [k5: syntax — comma splice; start a new sentence] . In reality [k5: syntax — comma needed after an introductory phrase], people may find many studios that offer affordable options. For example, my best friend attends studio [k4: wrong article] a studio where she pays half a price for a training [k3: unnatural phrasing + k4: incorrect number form] half price for each training session because she bought ten classes in advance.
Another common stereotype is that fitness is always expensive. However, many studios offer discounts for class packages, and people can also exercise for free at home, outdoors or through online workouts.
In conclusion, this essay has explored and demonstrated how to avoid stereotypes about fitness costs and difficulties of making a dream body [k1: register — too informal / unnatural for an IELTS essay] achieving fitness goals. Also, it is crucially [k4: adverb instead of adjective] crucial to understand the wide range of sports services [k3: unnatural collocation] fitness options we have nowadays.
In conclusion, gyms can be useful, but they are not essential for healthy living. Fitness can become cheaper and more enjoyable if people choose activities they genuinely like, use online workouts, exercise outdoors and look for affordable classes.
Alternative Higher-Scoring Version
The importance of gyms for a healthy lifestyle is often debated. While gyms can provide useful equipment and professional guidance, I do not believe they are essential for staying fit. This essay will argue that healthy living can be achieved in many other ways and will discuss common stereotypes about fitness, including the ideas that it is always expensive, difficult and unpleasant.
Firstly, gyms are only one of many possible ways to keep fit. Some people enjoy using gym equipment, but others may find this routine boring or uncomfortable. They can still improve their health through activities such as walking, running, cycling, swimming, Pilates, dancing or online workouts. For example, a person who dislikes weight training may become much more motivated by joining a dance class or following a yoga course at home. Therefore, the most important factor is not the place where people exercise, but whether they can stay active regularly.
Secondly, several stereotypes about fitness should be challenged. Many people believe that they need expensive memberships, fashionable sports clothes or a perfect body to start exercising. In reality, fitness can be almost free. People can train outdoors, use free online videos, walk more, take the stairs or organise informal sports sessions with friends. Exercise can also become more enjoyable if people choose activities that suit their personality. For instance, sociable people may prefer team sports, while others may enjoy home workouts or jogging alone.
In conclusion, gyms can be helpful, but they are not necessary for healthy living. Fitness becomes more accessible and enjoyable when people stop believing stereotypes and choose affordable activities that they genuinely like.
Score
| Criterion | Estimated Band | Feedback |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 5.5 | You answer the main question and explain that gyms are not the only way to stay fit. You also mention stereotypes about fitness being difficult and expensive. However, the part about making fitness free and enjoyable is underdeveloped. You need more concrete ideas, such as outdoor exercise, free apps, home workouts, walking, team sports or community fitness groups. |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 | The biggest problem is that two versions of the essay are pasted together. This creates serious repetition and makes the conclusion confusing. If the duplicated draft were removed, the organisation would be much clearer. |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 | You use relevant vocabulary, such as “gyms”, “fitness”, “Pilates”, “online workouts”, “stereotypes” and “affordable options”. However, some phrases are unnatural or too informal, such as “make what you like”, “listen to your heart”, “a dream body” and “sports services”. |
| Grammar Range and Accuracy | 5.0 | There are repeated grammar errors with articles, verb forms, capitalization and countable nouns: “going to gym”, “a good shape”, “i”, “trainings”, “have a discipline”, “have a progress” and “it is crucially”. These errors are noticeable but the main meaning is usually clear. |
| Overall Estimated Band | 5.0 | As submitted, this is around Band 5.0 mainly because of the duplicated essay section. Without the duplicated draft, it could be closer to Band 5.5–6.0 after language correction and better development. |
Feedback for You
You have a clear general idea: gyms are useful, but they are not the only way to stay healthy. You also give a relevant personal example about Pilates and online yoga, which helps support your answer.
Your biggest problem is that you accidentally pasted two versions of the same essay into one response. In IELTS, this would seriously affect coherence. You should keep only one version and make the conclusion short and clear.
You also need to answer the second part of the task more fully. The task asks about ways to make fitness free and more enjoyable. You mention discounts and online workouts, but you should add more solutions: outdoor workouts, walking, free fitness videos, sports with friends and community classes.
Main Rephrases
- so effective for health → essential for healthy living
- going to gym → going to the gym
- in a good shape → in good shape
- I found gym extremely boring for myself → I found the gym extremely boring personally
- I did online yoga course → I took an online yoga course
- I didn’t have any trainings in the gym → I did not have any training sessions in the gym
- have misunderstandings about fitness → have misconceptions about fitness
- have a discipline → be disciplined
- listen to your heart → choose an activity you genuinely enjoy
- make what you like → do what you enjoy
- have a progress → make progress
- making a dream body → achieving fitness goals
- it is crucially to understand → it is crucial to understand
Checked IELTS Writing Task 1 Report
Task
The graphs show average monthly spending on children’s sports and children’s participation in three different sports in the UK from 2008 to 2014.
Checked Version
The line graphs show how much was spent on children sports [k4: incorrect possessive form] children’s sports ( in pounds [k5: syntax — unnecessary space after the opening bracket] in pounds) between 2008 and 2014, and the number of participants in football, athletics and swimming. Overall, it is clear that average monthly spending increases over years [k4: wrong tense + k3: unnatural phrasing] increased over the period and the most popular sport is football [k4: wrong tense for a past chart] football was the most popular sport.
Overall, average monthly spending on children’s sports rose steadily, while football remained the most popular activity throughout the period.
The graph illustrates that the expenses on sports [k3: unnatural data description] average monthly spending on children’s sports in 2008 reached 20 million [k0: inaccurate data description — the figure is about £20, not 20 million] about £20 per month.
That year, as in subsequent years, football was the most common court to choose [k3: inaccurate word choice / unclear phrase] sport, with 8.1 million, while two and million children [k3: unclear data phrasing] about 2 million and under 1 million children respectively were engaged in swimming and athletics.
In 2010, expenses [k3: less precise word choice] spending increased by 2 million [k0: inaccurate unit — spending is measured in pounds per month, not millions] a few pounds.
The number of football players slightly decreased by 200 000 [k5: number formatting — use a comma in English] 200,000.
In the same time [k3: unnatural linking phrase] At the same time, athletics didn’t became [k4: wrong verb form + k1: no short forms in formal writing] did not become more popular, and swimming participants climbed at [k4: wrong preposition] to 2.4 million.
In 2010, spending rose slightly, while football participation dipped marginally. Swimming increased to around 2.4 million children, whereas athletics remained below 1 million.
Two years later [k5: syntax — comma needed after an introductory phrase], wastes [k3: inaccurate word choice] spending achieved [k3: unnatural collocation] reached 27 [k0: data accuracy — this should be expressed in pounds, not as an isolated number] pounds, and the growth stooped [k5: spelling mistake + k3: inaccurate word choice] continued at [k4: wrong preposition] to 32 pounds in 2014.
From 2012 to 2014 [k5: syntax — comma needed after an introductory phrase], football lovers [k1: register — too informal for IELTS Task 1] the number of children playing football edged up from 8.4 million to 9.1 [k3: incomplete data expression] about 9 million.
In the same time [k3: unnatural linking phrase] During the same period, athletics hit its highest level in 2012 [k5: syntax — comma needed before additional data], with 5 million, [k5: syntax — comma splice] and decreased by 100 000 [k5: number formatting] 100,000 in 2014.
In 2012, 3 million children did swimming [k3: unnatural collocation] went swimming, and 3.8 million [k2: ellipsis is possible, but the sentence sounds incomplete] did so two years later.
By 2014, spending had risen to just over £30 per month. Football participation also increased to about 9 million, while swimming rose steadily to nearly 4 million. Athletics peaked at around 5 million in 2012 before falling slightly in 2014.
In conclusion, whereas sport spendings [k3: unnatural phrase + k4: incorrect number form] spending on children’s sports had grown through years [k4: wrong tense + k3: unnatural phrasing] grew throughout the period, only athletics became more interesting for kids, while other sports haven’t changed as much [k0: inaccurate overview — swimming also increased steadily, and football remained the most popular sport] football remained dominant, while athletics showed the sharpest rise and swimming increased steadily.
Overall, spending rose steadily, football remained the leading sport, athletics experienced the most dramatic growth, and swimming also became gradually more popular.
Alternative Higher-Scoring Version
The two line graphs compare average monthly expenditure on children’s sports in the UK and participation in three sports between 2008 and 2014.
Overall, spending on children’s sports increased steadily over the period. Football was consistently the most popular sport, while athletics experienced the most dramatic growth. Swimming also rose gradually, but remained below football and athletics by the end of the period.
In terms of expenditure, parents spent about £20 per month on children’s sports in 2008. This figure then climbed to approximately £23 in 2010 and around £27 in 2012. By 2014, average monthly spending had reached just over £30, representing a rise of roughly £12 over the six-year period.
Looking at participation, football attracted the largest number of children throughout. The figure was just over 8 million in 2008, dipped slightly in 2010, and then rose to about 9 million in 2014. Swimming followed a steady upward trend, increasing from just over 2 million to nearly 4 million. The most notable change was in athletics: participation remained below 1 million in 2008 and 2010, then jumped to around 5 million in 2012 before falling slightly in 2014.
Score
| Criterion | Estimated Band | Feedback |
|---|---|---|
| Task Achievement | 5.5 | You describe both graphs and include many figures, but some data is inaccurate or wrongly expressed. For example, spending is measured in pounds per month, not millions. The conclusion is also partly inaccurate because swimming increased steadily, not only athletics. |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 | The report has an introduction, overview, details and a conclusion. However, the body paragraph is too crowded and moves quickly from one data point to another. It would be clearer to separate spending from participation and then compare the three sports. |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 | Some useful chart vocabulary is used, such as “increased”, “decreased”, “climbed” and “edged up”. However, there are many inaccurate phrases: “wastes achieved”, “football lovers”, “court to choose”, “sport spendings” and “became more interesting for kids”. |
| Grammar Range and Accuracy | 5.0 | There are frequent errors with articles, tense, prepositions, verb forms and data phrasing: “children sports”, “athletics didn’t became”, “climbed at”, “had grown through years”. The meaning is usually understandable, but the errors are noticeable. |
| Overall Estimated Band | 5.0–5.5 | The report is relevant and includes key data, but frequent language errors and some inaccurate interpretation keep it below a secure Band 6. |
Feedback for You
You understood the general trends: spending increased, football was the most popular sport, and athletics rose sharply. However, you need to be much more careful with units. The first graph shows average monthly spending in pounds, not millions.
Your overview should be more accurate. It is not true that only athletics became more popular. Swimming also rose steadily, and football increased slightly by the end of the period. A better overview would be: spending rose steadily, football remained the leading sport, athletics grew most sharply, and swimming also increased.
You should also use more formal chart-report vocabulary. Avoid expressions like “football lovers”, “became more interesting for kids” and “wastes achieved”. Use “the number of children playing football”, “participation increased” and “spending reached”.
Main Rephrases
- children sports → children’s sports
- increases over years → increased over the period
- 20 million → about £20 per month
- the most common court to choose → the most popular sport
- expenses increased by 2 million → spending rose by a few pounds
- athletics didn’t became more popular → athletics did not become more popular
- swimming participants climbed at 2.4 million → swimming participation rose to 2.4 million
- wastes achieved 27 million → spending reached about £27
- football lovers → the number of children playing football
- did swimming → went swimming
- sport spendings → spending on children’s sports
Potentially Missed or Debatable Issues
“Expenses” is understandable, but in this chart “spending” or “expenditure” is more natural.
“Participants in football” is understandable, but “children playing football” or “football participation” sounds smoother.
The report would be stronger if you grouped the information more clearly: one paragraph for spending, one paragraph for sports participation.