Dear TD Bank Manager,

My name is Tugolbai I visit [k4: tense error — past action requires Past Simple] I visited your bank on Friday 21th [k5: form of ordinal numeral] 21st of June this year, and I am writing to you regarding my unfortunately unsatisfying [k3: lexical choice — unnatural collocation] highly unsatisfactory experience in your branch.

I am writing to formally express my dissatisfaction with the service I received during my visit to your branch on June 21st.

My main reason to visit [k4: verb form — infinitive → gerund after “reason”] for visiting your branch was to close my credit card account and open the new one [k3: article usage] a new one with better fees and benefited [k4: incorrect word form] benefits.

The purpose of my visit was to close my existing credit card account and apply for a new one offering more favorable terms and benefits.

However, your coworkers could not provide proper service, and I end up [k4: tense error] ended up waiting one and a half our [k5: spelling] hour for more experience [k4: adjective form] experienced guys [k3: informal vocabulary] staff members.

However, I was not provided with adequate assistance and was required to wait for over an hour before being attended to by a more experienced staff member.

I believe he was supervisor [k4: missing article] a supervisor at that day [k4: incorrect preposition] on that day.

I understand that the staff member who eventually assisted me was a supervisor on duty that day.

Furthermore, they did not inform me that closing my credit card would negatively effect [k4: wrong word — verb vs noun] affect on my credit score [k4: unnecessary preposition] my credit score, and I might not be eligible for a new one due to the lower scores [k3: article/number issue] a lower score, which is my current satiation [k3: wrong word] situation.

Moreover, I was not informed that closing my credit card could negatively affect my credit score, potentially making me ineligible for a new card, which has unfortunately become my current situation.

Currently, I do not have any credit card, and because of my effected [k4: incorrect form] affected credit scores [k3: number inconsistency] score, I have to visit different banks to check my eligibility for their products, . Which is [k5: sentence fragmentation] which is time-consuming and costly for me.

As a result, I currently do not have a credit card and must visit multiple banks to assess my eligibility, which is both time-consuming and financially burdensome.

In order to resolve this issue, I would like to see your participation on this problem [k3: unnatural collocation] request your assistance in resolving this matter to restore my credit card by the end of this month in order to save my credit history to be ruined [k2: logical/structure issue] prevent my credit history from being damaged.

I would therefore appreciate your assistance in resolving this matter and restoring my credit card by the end of the month so as to prevent further damage to my credit history.

If you need any additional information, please contact me any time [k3: formality] at any time.

Should you require any further information, please do not hesitate to contact me at your convenience.

Best regards,

Tugolbai Baktybek uulu