Don't be afraid to take a chance

The rain was pouring heavily when Daniel noticed the small envelope lying on the pavement.

He was very tired and upset because he hehad just lost his job. However, Hedecided to took [k4: verb form] take this envelope.

Hecame to hissmall flat and thought about his life. [k3: lexical weakness — repetitive use of "he"] Arriving at home, Daniel began to think about his life.

Hewas a young man in a big city who recently graduated from university.

Daniel didn’t know what to do. Heopened the envelope and found an invitation to an exhibition of projects in a large company.

Heremembered that he had made an IT project in school. in school [k3: collocation] at school

He said: “Maybe I should present it.”

Daniel found in computer [k4: wrong article/modifier for the noun 'computer'] on his computer his project and started to edit it.

Next day [k4: article usage] The next day he came to the exhibition.

There were a lot of people there with different projects. [k1: style --informal expression] Many people were presenting different projects there.

Daniel was waiting for his turn when a woman fell down near him. He quickly gave her a hand. [k3: collocation+k1: coherence: What did he give her a hand with? What project, task?] He quickly helped her up.

“Are you okay?” saidaskedDaniel.

“Yes, thank you,” saidthe woman.

She quickly went to the office where was presentation of projects [k3: wrong nomination of 'the presentation room' +k4: word order+k4: article issue before 'presentation'] went to the room /hall where the presentation of projects was taking place

When it was Daniel’s turn, he came to the office [k3: lexical choice] — “office” does not fit the situation of a project presentation; the participant would go to the stage or to the front of the room. went up to the stage/went tot he front of the room and saw this woman [k3: lexical choice] the same woman at the head of the table.

“Hello! I am Lana Paris, the director of this company. Please present your project,” said the woman.

Daniel was shocked but he presented his project. All members of the jury liked it.

“Do you want to work in our company?” said Lana.

Daniel said: “Yes, I do.”

“So your first work day [k3: collocation] working day will be on Monday. Please, don’t be late,” said Lana.

Daniel went away from office in a very good mood [k3: stylistic weakness] in high spirits / in an excellent mood

From that his life has changed right now [k4: tense + syntax] From that moment his life changed completely

From that moment on, he understood that even the smallest accidents can lead to remarkable discoveries.

Final score

Criterion	Score
Task achievement	0* / 7 ⭐ *В работе, оцениваемой на 7 баллов по РКЗ, должны быть отражены все аспекты задания; лексика и грамматика без ошибок (допускаются 1-2 ошибки только на оценку 2/1, но не на высший балл) The narrative idea works: lost job → finds envelope → opportunity → job That matches the Einstein quote fairly well. However there are weaknesses 1️⃣ The quote itself is not explicitly included as the epigraph. (The task required the quotation.) 2️⃣ The connection with difficulty → opportunity is rather simplistic. 3️⃣ The coincidence with the woman at the exhibition is not developed narratively. So the task is fulfilled but not deeply.
Organization	3 / 4 Structure is clear: 1 problem 2 discovery 3 exhibition 4 resolution However, cohesion is weak. For example, in your sentences:   He came to his small flat and thought about his life. He was a young man in a big city who recently graduated from university. The second sentence suddenly switches to biographical information without any connector. Better cohesion: Sitting in his small flat, Daniel began to think about his life. Like many young graduates in a big city, he didn’t know what to do next.
Lexis	1 / 3
Grammar	1 / 3
Spelling / punctuation	2 / 3

Total: 7 / 20

 

Assessment criteria (official)

Sentences to translate

1) In the sixth century b.c.e Britain was attributed the culture to [k3: lexical / collocation error — incorrect structure] an Iron Age culture was attributed to Britain . / In the sixth century BCE, Britain came to be associated with Iron Age culture.

2) Deforestation was done faster [k3: lexical choice — unnatural collocation] carried out faster because fuel was needed to smelt and forge iron and iron axes were invented, and even money was made from iron ingots. / Deforestation accelerated because fuel was required to smelt and forge iron, and iron axes were introduced; even currency was produced from iron ingots.

3) In British Iron Age culture a high status was held be [k4: preposition error] by the smiths who were like the [k3: lexical / stylistic — article unnecessary in generic meaning] deities. / In British Iron Age culture, high status was held by smiths, who were regarded almost like deities.

4) Bronze was often used because its cost was lower than iron [k3: comparison structure — incomplete comparison] that of iron. / Bronze was often used because it was cheaper than iron.

5) A group of people knowing [k4: participle form error] known as Celts and difficult defining [k4: gerund/infinitive construction error] difficult to define, managed [k3: lexical choice — incorrect collocation for historical context] inhabited Britain in the Iron Age. / A group of people known as the Celts, who are difficult to define precisely, inhabited Britain during the Iron Age.

6) Now Celtic culture is understood not as invasion [k3: lexical / article error] an invasion but as a acceptance [k4: article form — incorrect use before vowel sound] an acceptance of [k1: task completion — sentence unfinished / missing complement] cultural influence or gradual cultural adoption. / Today Celtic culture is interpreted not as the result of an invasion but as the gradual acceptance of new cultural influences.

cultural characteristics on their own accord [k3: lexical collocation — incorrect expression] terms. / cultural characteristics on their own terms / according to their own traditions

7) Maybe Celtic ways was [k4: subject-verb agreement] Maybe Celtic ways were accepted by British aristocracy as a way to differ [k3: lexical choice — incorrect verb] to distinguish themselves of making them and ordinary Britons different [k5: syntactic cohesion — awkward construction] from ordinary Britons. / Celtic customs may have been adopted by the British aristocracy as a way to distinguish themselves from ordinary Britons.

8) The British was [k4: subject-verb agreement] The British were isn aren’t named [k5: syntactic error — incorrect auxiliary structure] not as Celts, and Celtic language roots dated back [k4: tense error] date back to the Celtic period. / The British were not originally called Celts, and the roots of Celtic languages date back to the Celtic period.

9) The hill fort was built on top of a hill dominating its territories which was around it [k5: syntactic cohesion — incorrect relative clause+k4:subject-verb agreement ] on top of a hill dominating the surrounding territories. / Hill forts were built on elevated hills that dominated the surrounding territories.

10) Druidism was essential feature [k4: article missing] an essential feature of Iron Age British religion and culture and was shared by British with the Celts of Gaul instead of Ireland [k3: lexical / preposition error] shared by the Britons and the Celts of Gaul rather than those of Ireland. / Druidism was an essential feature of Iron Age British religion and culture and was shared with the Celts of Gaul rather than with those of Ireland.

Essays on ancient professions

1. This job [k2: coherence - What job?] was full of controversies. [k2: missing  logical connector- a link phrase suggests itself here] In fact, not all people were ready to work as a smiths [k4: incorrect number form] smiths.

On the one hand, this job was highly respected. Smiths were like gods. Everyone needed their weapons and tools, making the profession a secure bet [k3: informal / inaccurate word choice in academic essay] a reliable livelihood. //making the profession economically stable

[k2: linking missing – e.g. "For example," or "Indeed,"]they often took orders from the military [k3: unnatural collocation] received orders from the military. This allowed them to bring home the bacon [k1: style/register — idiom inappropriate for academic essay] earn a steady income.

[k2: linking missing – e.g. Moreover," or "What is more,"]Moreover, they were highly respected in the community and often they could get [k4: incorrect word order] could often receive preferential treatment from government [k4: wrong article] preferential treatment from the government.

On the other hand, it was a demanding job [k3: repetition with previous sentence structure — lexical variety needed] an extremely demanding occupation. Smiths had to toil all day, so it took a toll on their health in difficult conditions [k3: wordiness / awkward phrasing] a serious toll on their health.

Unfortunately, they had risk of dying [k4: wrong article] an increased risk of dying at an early age.

So over it [k3: inaccurate expression] Therefore, it was up to a person to decide whether the rewards were worth the physical price. //Ultimately, individuals had to decide whether the benefits justified the physical hardship.

The decision, obviously,  to study for the job certainly requires required careful consideration so as to understand if the role suited one or not [k3: wordiness] consideration in order to determine whether the role suited a person.

3. The role of a druid, though historically significant, remains a debatable profession, as it evokes both admiration and controversy. The purpose of this essay is to explore both the benefits and drawbacks of being a druid in the pre-Roman Britain.

One the one hand [k5: wrong spelling] On the one hand, one of the primary advantages of being a druid in the pre-Roman Britain was high social status [k4: wrong article] a high social status.

To illustrate this point, it can be observed that druids were among the most respected individuals in society. They were part of the intellectual elite and often had influence over rulers [k3: inaccurate preposition] with rulers and warriors.

Their position gave them significant power in decision-making, particularly in legal disputes, religious matters, and even political governance [k3: slightly unnatural collocation] political affairs.

However, another notable advantage is egal and judicial power.this [k5: capitalization error] This is supported by the fact that druids often acted as judges and mediators in disputes, meaning they had the power to resolve conflicts within their community.

For example, studies have shown that their decisions were highly respected and they could wield considerable control over social order.

On the other hand, despite the benefits, there may have been also [k4: incorrect word order] several disadvantages associated with being a druid in the pre-Roman Britain.

significant drawback [k4: wrong article] A significant drawback to consider is heavy responsibility.

This must have been largely becaused [k5: wrong spelling] because as [k3: redundant conjunction] druids carried the weight of their community’s well-being.

They were expected to maintain religious and moral order, advise on governance, and interpret signs from the gods, which could be a burdensome responsibility [k3: repetition] duty particularly in times of crisis.

In addition [k2: linking slightly weak – better transition] Furthermore, another disadvantage is isolation from common society.

To exemplify this, it can be noted that druids may have been somewhat isolated from the rest of society. While they were respected, they might not have experienced the same everyday relationships or communal bonds as the average person.

In conclusion, while being a druid must have presented certain advantages such as a good position in society and judicial authority, it also has notable disadvantages, including big [k3: inaccurate word choice] great responsibility and being apart from society.

Ultimately, it is essential to weigh both sides carefully before making a final decision regarding being a druid in the pre-Roman Britain.

Summary and Opinion on the Interview with Nathan Bonny_ What jobs will AI Take

The interview discusses the impact of AI on jobs with business reporter Nathan Bonny [k2: illogical attachment / ambiguity + k4: incorrect word order, creating an impression that reporter Nathan Bonny is part of those jobs] in an interview with business reporter Nathan Bonny. The interview with business reporter Nathan Bonny discusses the impact of AI on jobs.

The speaker explains that AI is becoming the reason for the dismissal of employees, and AI is threat [k4: wrong article] a threat to specific types of work.

Overall, the aim is to show which jobs are most at risk and which are not. and also [k5: syntax] , and also how people can protect their careers. Overall, the interview aims to show which jobs are most at risk, which are relatively safe, and how people can protect their careers.

First, the interviewee explains that jobs involving repeatable tasks such as data entry and analysis are most at risk because AI can do this work very high-quality [k3: unnatural collocation + k4: incorrect adverbial form] to a very high standard. AI can perform this type of work to a very high standard.

Next, he adds that jobs AI-proof jobs [k4: incorrect word order + k3: redundancy] AI-proof jobs usually involve a lot of human interaction, such as chatting or calling, coordinating [k3: faulty parallelism / unnatural listing] chatting, calling, or coordinating.

He also illustrates that specific professions like graphic designers are also in trouble because AI can create visuals very well. He also points out that professions such as graphic design are under threat because AI can produce visuals very effectively.

In addition, the adaptability [k3: inaccurate word choice + k4: wrong article] adaptability is a good skill because it is better to learn how to learn than to focus on a single skill.

Finally, the speaker suggests that people should be ready to change and gain new skills as the economy changes.

Taken together, these ideas present overall message [k4: wrong article] the overall message about the future of work with AI.

IV.

In my view, the interview reveals an insightful observation: people have to develop adaptable skills to stay relevant, [k5: syntax] .

That said, I do not fully support this perspective because learning to learn is not enough.

For example AI [k5: syntax] , AI can already do different works [k4: incorrect number form] types of work, such as creative and analytical tasks, making it hard for people to compete with it even if they adapt. For example, AI can already perform different types of work, including creative and analytical tasks, which makes it difficult for people to compete even if they remain adaptable.

Moreover, companies often replace workers to save money, not because they have unnecessary skills.

In particular, this shows that a person should have something more than adaptable skills [k3: tautology/repetition]. They need to be unique employees. In particular, this suggests that a person needs more than mere adaptability; employees must offer something distinctive.

Therefore, adaptability may not be the complete solution [k3: awkward collocation / unnatural wording] the ultimate solution. Therefore, adaptability alone may not be enough. / Therefore, adaptability may not be the ultimate answer.

Essay on the class systen in the US

3.6 I partly agree [k1: impersonality vs involvement – in this type of writing, the argument should be presented more objectively] There is some truth in the claim that the class system in the U.S. is more rigid than it looks. The claim that the class system in the U.S. is more rigid than it appears is partly convincing. Many people think everyone has the same chances in America, but a person’s social class still affects their life a lot. Although many people believe that everyone in America has the same opportunities, social class still strongly influences a person’s life chances.

To begin with, the text suggests that social mobility is more limited than many people assume. One reason is that rich families can give their children better opportunities. For example, children from wealthy homes go to top universities more often than poor children with the same abilities. So, a person’s background matters more than it seems. Therefore, a person’s social background may have a greater influence on their future than is often assumed.

Another reason why I support [k0: task achievement – the sentence is incomplete, so the point is not fully expressed + k1: impersonality vs involvement – avoid overt personal alignment in an academic essay] this view appears convincing is that where you live also keeps classes apart. A further argument in support of this view is that place of residence also reinforces class divisions. For example, poor families cannot afford to move to neighborhoods with good schools and safe parks, while rich families can. This means class divisions stay strong even in a country that praises hard work and success. This suggests that class divisions remain strong even in a country that praises hard work and individual success.

In conclusion, I believe [k1: impersonality vs involvement – the conclusion should sound more objective] it can be concluded that the U.S. class system is more rigid than it appears. In conclusion, it can be argued that the U.S. class system is more rigid than it appears. It may look open and fair, but deeper factors like family money and housing still shape people’s futures. Although it may appear open and fair, deeper factors such as family wealth and housing continue to shape people’s futures.