American National Treasure is [k5: capitalization in title case]Is Back
Written by Victoria Balashova, Student Reporter, ‘The NiNo Times’
LOS ANGELES,, [k5: punctuation], November 2025 — [k5: punctuation – use em dash tight in news style]— ‘Whistler’s Mother’[k5: quotation punctuation – comma/period inside in AmE]“Whistler’s Mother,” a deeply [k3: wordiness]treasured painting by a beloved American artist is [k2: comma needed before nonrestrictive clause], is returning home! [k1: no exclamations in formal writing*]. It has been purchased by The Grierson Gallery from Muse D’Orsay [k4: article omission before proper noun + inaccurate name] the Musée d’Orsay , Paris, for as mush [k5: spelling]as much as fifty million dollars [k3: journalistic register – prefer numeral]$50 million. Remarkably, the donation that the gallery received for this painting was private [k3: unnatural collocation/wordiness]gallery’s funding for the acquisition was a private donation. So, the American treasure got back [k3: informal phrasal choice]has returned owing to [k3: register too high—prefer “thanks to”/“through” in news]thanks to a mysterious but generous stranger [k3: tone—prefer “benefactor” in formal register]benefactor and is going to be unveiled this month [k3: wordiness/ k1: register yoo low in the future form] will be unveiled this month.
“It all happened so fast,” says Mr Bean, a representative of the gallery. “Of course, we have been looking forward to buying it as the form of paying tribute [k3: unnatural collocation]as a way to pay tribute to our national art historybut it had always felt [k4: tense inconsistency – present perfect context requires same time frame] but it has always felt like a dream. However, thanks to a private donator [k3: inaccurate word choice, non-idiomatic]donor, we returned the ‘Whistler’s Mother’ back [k3: redundancy (“returned back”) + article with title]returned “Whistler’s Mother” to its homeland and are glad to present it.”
All visitors are invited to a permanent exhibition of “Whistler’s Mother” at The Grierson Gallery. The gala evening is going to be held [k3: wordiness]will be held on November 14th [k5: style – drop ordinal in dates]November 14. The entrance [k3: collocation]Admission is free, but all guests have to [k3: tone]must register first on www.griersongallery.com [k2: consistency—see date/time below; I suggested dropping “www.” just for visual and stylistic consistency, like they usually do in press-releases]griersongallery.com. The places are limited [k3: article/word choice]Places are limited, so do not miss your chance.
What to Expect:
- Exhibition — be the first to contemplate [k3: collocation—use “view”/“see” with paintings]view a legendary painting back at its home [k3: awkward phrasing]back on home soil.
- Lectures — visit TED talks [k5: capitalization]TED Talks about James Whistler and the American art history of XIX century [k3: phrasing/register]American art history of the nineteenth century.
- Special Guest — don’t [k1: no short forms in formal writing]do not miss the first performance of Lana Del Rey’s new song about art on [k4: preposition]at the gala evening.
The registration is [k3: article]Registration is now open. Whether you are looking to expand your knowledge of art history, behold the greatest painting by an American artist or [k5: serial comma for clarity], or hear your favourite [k5: spelling consistency – AmE vs BrE]favorite pop star’s new single, this event is a must-visit.
Jump at the chance and join us on November 1st, 19.00 [k2: incoherence with November 14 above + k5: time format] November 14, 7:00 p.m., The Grierson Gallery, Los Angeles! [k1: no exclamations in formal writing].
www.griersongallery.com [k2] // For details and required registration, visit griersongallery.com.
The Fortune
Once upon a time, in a kingdom with broad fields, there lived Frank the Ox, whose job was to cultivate the land. Under the supervision of The [k5: capitalization—common noun]the Farmer, always had he laboured relentlessly.
One day, the Farmer bought a goose that laid golden eggs. So precious it was to the man that he seemed to forget about everything else.
Since the purchase of the Goose, the Ox was given a raw deal by the Farmer. Overworked and underpaid, Frank couldn’t but despise [k3: unnatural collocation]could not help but despise the Goose. It was the apple of the Farmer’s eye [k3: idiom OK but repeated “Farmer”—possible variety] his master's pride and joy, surrounded with care and affection despite doing minimum [k3: collocation]the bare minimum of work.
After a while, the Ox was suddenly commanded by the farmer to eat nothing but the golden eggs but first buy them for quite a fortuneordered to eat nothing but golden eggs—and to purchase them himself at a steep price. Frank was desperate, for he barely could [k4: word order]could barely make ends meet after this order.
Once Frank the Ox rebelled. [k5: syntax—fragment/unclear temporal “Once”; use “One day” , otherwise it is a classic case of a weak story opening] One day, Frank the Ox rebelled. Having purchased a dozen of eggs [k4: article/quantity construction]a dozen eggs, he demonstratively [k3: inaccurate adverb choice]deliberately broke them in front of the Farmer and left him furious. “Ingrate!” the man shouted. “Well then, if you cannot cherish a treasure, you will not get even a speck of dust from me.”
The Farmer depriving the Ox of food, the latter [k1: clunky/academic; avoid “the latter”]After the Farmer deprived the Ox of food, Frank starved but did not surrender. Lying in his stall day and night, he gave up the field work [k5: spelling/compound noun]fieldwork completely. This was when the Farmer realised his mistake: the land was now uncultivated and the crops failed.
On a gloomy, freezing night in autumn, when a golden egg no longer seemed a sufficient meal, the Farmer came begging to the Ox. Screaming and crying, he threatened Frank to return [k4: verb pattern—“threaten to do / threaten someone with X”; here: “demanded that he return”]threatened Frank and demanded that he return and find food for them: “Give up your pride! I know that it was a fortune to have you now” [k2: incoherent time reference + k3: phrasing]you were our greatest fortune.”
??? Where is the end?
“We do not know what we have until it is gone,” the Ox concluded. Soon after, he ran away from the pasture and has been [k4: tense consistency in past narrative]was free ever since, merrily galloping in freedom. // From that day on, he lived unfettered.
The End
‘Forward, march!’ hundreds of soldiers are stomping [k4: wrong tense - use past for narrative] hundreds of soldiers were stomping in the streets, making my workshop shake. Rubbing my eyes and yawning, I place the last boot in a wooden box signed ‘ARMY’ and sit down to wait for the recipient. Faint memories about last months, brought back by the marching outside, make me wearily smile. [k4: incorrect preposition + k3: unnatural collocation] Faint memories of the last few months, brought back by the marching outside, make me smile wearily.
A simple elderly shoemaker who had worked peacefully for his entire life, I was completely lost when the Boston Tea Party happened. The whole country seemed on edge, cities were filled with people in military uniforms. [k5: syntax -- run-on phrases -- separate independent phrases with a full stop or ';'] and cities were filled with people in military uniforms. A restless time had come, and only those craftspeople who could bite the bullet stayed afloat.
Terrified at first, I decided to break the mold of selling shoes for civilians and started providing rebel troops with boots instead. There was a lot of work but I felt not only relieved that I weathered the storm but also proud to take part — even indirectly — in liberating my homeland from cruel colonial oppression. [k4: incorrect word order+k4: neglected Past Perfect] I felt not only relieved to have weathered the storm but also proud to take part—even indirectly—in liberating my homeland from cruel colonial oppression.
A while has passed since the first protest. Still cooperating with the troops, I don’t have any trouble at the workshop; though I’m not rolling in money, I have stable work and loyal clients. Bending but not breaking after the Boston Tea Party, I, most significantly, was able to pay my respects to those young men who stood up for America’s sovereignty, and this, undoubtedly, is the most honourable thing that an old man can do. [k2: lack of coherence - The final sentiment is powerful but the transition is abrupt. The sentence is also very long and could be split for impact.] // Having bent but not broken after the Boston Tea Party, I found my own way to contribute. Most significantly, I was able to pay my respects to those young men who stood up for America’s sovereignty. To me, an old man, that is the most honourable thing of all.