The Undiscovered

It always seems impossible until it’s done.

When Maya opened the old wooden gate, she immediately sensed that something unusual had happened. The air felt thick with ancient spirit [k3: awkward collocation / unclear lexical choice] an ancient presence / the spirit of the past, filling her lungs with both anxiety and triumph. This was when Maya knew she won[k4: wrong tense form]had won / would succeed.

‘Stop with[k3: awkward collocation]Stop it with / Stop these your childish fantasies, Maya!’ her classmate told her at lunchtime months ago. ‘It’s impossible to find anything yet undiscovered in all Canada!’

Perhaps,[k5: punctuation- there is usually no comma after this word]Perhaps she was right. Maya, too, found it hard to believe that explorers might have still not examined[k4: wrong word order]still not have examined every inch of earth[k3: less suitable word choice]land in Newfoundland. Even if so [k3: unnatural phrasing] Even so Even if that was true / But even if that was the case / Still, even if it was true, a simple girl like her could barely contribute. Her stubborn personality, however, couldn’t let her give up[k3: awkward phrasing]wouldn’t let her give up on her dream of exploring her homeland and, maybe, discovering new historical sites [k3: less precise word choice] historic sites sites of historical significance / historically important sites. Thus, she decided to start preparing.

In the daytime, Maya trained to climb mountains and walk long distances. At nights[k4: wrong form]At night, she devoured books about vikings’[k5: capitalization]Vikings’ adventures in America, striving for new, yet undiscovered details[k3: awkward collocation / unclear phrasing]searching for new and as yet undiscovered details. [k1: What details? - weak plot development]

Finally, after months of research and training [k1: What did she find out? - weak plot development] , Maya set off. Her path was exhausting; hours of walking brought the girl to her wits’ end. At some point, she was ready to give up and admit failure, but then…

‘Is this… a house?’ she couldn’t help but wonder upon noticing[k3: awkward phrasing]wonder when she noticed / wonder upon seeing mouldering wooden remnants. ‘But it’s not on the map!’ This was when it dawned on Maya: she discovered[k4: wrong tense form]had discovered the ruins of vikings’[k5: capitalization]the Vikings’ first settlements. Her dream came true.

Only later did she realise that the decision the[k5: spelling / typo]she had made that afternoon would shape the rest of her life. The decision to endeavour for[k3: wrong collocation]strive for / pursue her dream would result in Maya becoming a Canadian researcher respected worldwide now that her younger self knew — everything seems impossible until it’s done[k1: logical/cohesive weakness — the ending is phrased awkwardly and the final sentence is not integrated smoothly into the conclusion], and from that moment on, she understood that everything seems impossible until it’s done.The decision to pursue her dream would eventually turn Maya into a Canadian researcher respected worldwide, proving that everything seems impossible until it’s done. / That choice eventually led Maya to become a Canadian researcher respected around the world, and it taught her a lasting truth: everything seems impossible until it’s done.