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Phrenology;

The lecture provides a critical evaluation of Franz Joseph Gall theory about brain [k4: article and word order] 's theory about the brain, called phrenology, largely refuting its claims while acknowledging some of its contributions to nowadays mental knowledge [k3: unnatural phrase] modern psychological science. The lecturer highlights several key points that contrast with the ideas presented in the reading passage [k4: tautology] in the reading.

Firstly, the lecture directly challenges the core premise of phrenology that size of brain and skull shape [k4: article use] the size of the brain and skull shape have any [k2:sense] significant effect on human’s intelligence [k4: possessive error] human intelligence or personality. The lecturer dismisses this notion by pointing out that studies showed that many people with smaller brain [k4: singular/plural agreement] smaller brains are very clever and its size doesn’t affect on their ability to think [k4: incorrect preposition and agreement] its size doesn’t affect their ability to think.

However, the lecture also acknowledges that Gall's work was not entirely without merit. The lecturer concedes that, as Franz Joseph said, different parts of brain [k4: article needed] the brain control different human’s functions [k4: incorrect possessive] human functions. If certain piece of brain injuries [k4: ungrammatical noun phrase, verb voice] a certain part of the brain is injured, patient will [k4: article and auxiliary verb] the patient will have a problem with mental function which this part was responsible for [k4: awkward phrasing] the mental function this part was responsible for. These illnesses will differ based on which part of brain [k4: article needed] the brain was damaged.

Moreover, the lecture supports Gall's notion that the human mind comprises several different forms for any mental ability. The lecturer points out that Gall's idea of 37 mental powers partly not true [k4: incorrect structure] is not entirely accurate, but indeed our brain based on these abilities has [k4: awkward phrasing] our brain consists of multiple types of intelligence.

In conclusion, while the lecture refutes the fundamental premise of phrenology regarding the correlation between brain size and ability to think [k4: article needed] the ability to think, it acknowledges and supports some of Gall’s contributions to brain parts difference and functions that they have [k4: word order and structure] differences in brain regions and their corresponding functions. Thus, the lecture provides a balanced critique, recognizing the flaws in Gall's theories while also appreciating the lasting impact of some of his ideas on psychology and science about brain [k4: article and phrasing] the science of the brain.

Independent writing

1. While I appreciate the points mentioned by Max and Emma, I think that they are both right and wrong in some aspects of their opinions. / While I recognize the value in both Max and Emma’s perspectives, I believe their arguments are partially valid and partially flawed.

2. While Max raised the relevant point that indeed these modern data-driven profiling techniques make many mistakes as well as phrenology [k4: awkward phrasing and conjunction use] a valid point that, like phrenology, modern data-driven profiling techniques often make mistakes, but [k4: redundant conjunction after "while"] (remove) he didn’t mention that they are constantly developed [k4: passive voice awkward here] are constantly being improved by scientists and work better [k3: vague phrasing] perform more accurately every year. As a result, someday they might have reached a moment, when they will work correctly every time. [k4: incorrect tense and modal structure] As a result, they may eventually reach a point where they function flawlessly.

3. On the other side [k3: incorrect idiom, should be "On the other hand"] On the other hand, Emma said that phrenology was unscientific and biased from the start, but studies proven [k4: verb tense] studies have proven that some of its theories, such as particularly,  a statement that different parts of brain control different functions [k4: article and phrasing] 0the idea that different parts of the brain control different functions, were right. So phrenology can help in nowadays techniques. [k3: awkward and incorrect phrasing] Thus, phrenology may still offer insights for current technologies.

4. I think that there are, indeed, meaningful parallels between phrenology and modern data-driven profiling techniques, but they are not negative [k3: vague phrasing] these parallels should not necessarily be seen as negative. Based on phrenology experience [k4: article and possessive form needed] phrenology specialists'00 experience, nowadays technologies can take its right statements and know what should not be used too [k3: unclear and awkward construction] retain its valid insights while avoiding its flawed assumptions.

The lecture challenges the validity of the theory presented in the reading passage regarding the role of genes in natural selection.

Firstly, it disputes the hypothesis that genes are reliably inherited solely from parents, force or do not let to develop [k3, k4: awkward verb construction - "let" is a modal verb!] can activate or suppress some of them, even if those genes are present in an animal's DNA.

Secondly, it refutes the idea that they are predictable [k4: vague subject—clarify 'they'] genes can reliably predict traits and that scientists can analyze evolutionary trends with them. It points out that gene expression can vary significantly depending on environmental conditions. For example, it mentions water flies that changed different [k4: ungrammatical phrase] developed different traits from one another in response to danger.

Finally, it questions the theory that genes are only one fundamental drivers [k4: subject-verb agreement and article misuse] the only fundamental drivers of evolution, suggesting that mental and other changes [k4: vague noun phrase] cognitive and behavioral factors also contribute significantly.

Independent Writing_Education and genes

I strongly agree with Max. I think that any child can progress and develop significantly in academic and not spheres [k4: awkward construction] both academically and in other areas if it receive [k4: subject-verb agreement] they receive intensive, high-quality instruction from a young age. But I would add that it all will happen only if child want it. [k4: article misuse, tense error] However, this will only happen if the child is motivated.

While Sofia raised a relevant point that family has a big influence too [k3: informal phrasing] also plays a significant role, I am still sure that the person, who wants to succeed and ready to do everything for it [k4: sentence structure error] a determined person who is willing to work hard will reach its goal [k4: pronoun agreement] their goal no matter what.

For example, we know many successful individuals who born [k4: verb form error] were born into poor families but still succeeded. One of them is Apple inventor Steve Jobs, whose foster parents were very poor.

In conclusion, I would say that everyone has its chance [k4: pronoun agreement] their chance to succeed, especially with external support, but only if the person truly desires it.

Plant intelligence

The text under analysis [k2: phrase not relevant to the task] reading passage states that plants respond more effectively on [k4: incorrect preposition] effectively to the same challenges that they experienced before. It explains that they have stress memory [k3: vague term—try a clearer phrase] a kind of memory for stress which can help them in critical situations. Author of the text [k3: article missing] The author states that this ability is based on epigenetic changes that modify how genes are expressed alter gene expression. It can help agriculture a lot [k1: style too informal] significantly because plants will be able to survive in hard climate [k3: wrong collocation+k4:grammar] harsh climates and farmers will not spend as much money on chemicals.

The lecture elaborates on this idea, illustrating it with several specific examples of how plants react[k2:coherence: unfinished phrase]to adverse conditions and how it can be used.

Firstly, the professor describes how scientists gave plants mild stress to them react on it better [k4: ungrammatical structure] so they would react better to it in the future. Certain plants experienced harsh conditions and after them they developed [k4: ungrammatical pronoun use] afterward, they developed deeper roots. This reaction was passed to the next generation. It shows how plants not only recovered but got better [k3: too informal] adapted more effectively, demonstrating their ability to build immunity from same challenges [k4: article + preposition error] to the same challenges.

Secondly, he mentions the technology named [k3: inappropriate register] called priming, in which plants got [k4: nonstandard verb form] where plants were given a controlled amount of stress to build resistance from it [k4: wrong preposition] against it. As a result, they started to respond more effectively on this stress [k4: preposition error] to this stress, proving that this method can be used to improve agriculture in places with rough conditions.

Finally, the professor explains plants reaction on [k4: missing possessive + wrong preposition +K4: wrong preposition] plants’ reaction to high temperature, where their certain stress response genes started to work better [k4: overly wordy + k3:primitive wording] certain stress response genes became more active, indicating that this memory also works on temperature changes [k4: wrong preposition] in response to temperature changes.

In this way, the lecture supports the ideas in the text by providing real-life studies that demonstrate, confirm, and expand upon how stress memory helps plants to respond [k3: lexical repetition – verb repeated excessively] to cope on [k4: incorrect preposition – use “to” after “respond” or “cope”] with same challenges [k4: article missing; “same” is followed by a definite noun] the same stressors.

Independent writing_plants in cities

1. While I appreciate Lena’s and Marco’s opinions about cities incorporating adaptive plant systems into their design to deal with environmental challenges like air pollution or extreme weather, I personally think that they both right and wrong in some parts of their statements [k4: verb missing; unclear phrasing] personally think that they are both right and wrong in parts of their arguments / I believe their points are partially valid but also flawed in certain respects.

2. I would say that plants and pollution preventing technologies [k4: unnatural compound adjective – use hyphenated form] pollution-preventing technologies must be combined to help cities. Indeed, using only plants can take too much time and money [k3: informal and vague phrasing] relying solely on vegetation may require significant time and resources, but technologies are not cheap too [k4: incorrect word order; informal tone] but technology is also costly and also [k3: redundancy] and can create problems when they break.

3. For example, in my city government builds many recycling fabrics [k4: wrong word – 'fabrics' is incorrect here; 'plants' or 'facilities' is needed] the government builds many recycling plants and uses other technologies to prevent pollution, but also there are [k4: unnatural word order] there are also many parks and trees that create fresh air / that contribute to cleaner air quality.

4. So in conclusion, only combination of nature and machines can prevent pollution and other disasters [k4: article missing; unnatural phrasing] In conclusion, only a combination of natural elements and technological solutions can effectively combat pollution and environmental threats.

Marine Biology

The text under analysis states that several Devonian-era fish possessed anatomical traits that early land vertebrates had. It explains a theory about pre-adaptive evolution that fish made before going on the ground[k4: incorrect prepositional phrase]before moving onto land.

The text under analysis states that several Devonian-era fish possessed anatomical traits that early land vertebrates had. It explains a [k4: article — use the definite article for a specific known theory] the theory of preadaptive evolution that fish made [k4: verb choice — evolution is not "made" but "undergone"] pre-adaptive evolution that fish underwent before going on the ground.

Firstly, the professor describes Tiktaalik’s rib-to-pelvis connection that could help to supporting[k4: verb form — incorrect gerund after 'help to']support it’s[k4: grammar — use of possessive 'its']its body weight on land. He shows how this ability just helped him[k4: pronoun agreement — Tiktaalik is not a person]it in water rather that[k4: wrong conjunction]rather than was an adaptation to land, <span class="rephrase">simply aided movement in shallow water rather than serving as an adaptation to terrestrial life</span> demonstrating that it is just a convergent feature in shallow water fish.

Secondly, he mentions scientists research[k4: noun form — 'research' is uncountable; missing possessive]scientists’ research in which they proved that many of these fish features were not functional. As a result [k2: cohesion – inappropriate linking device; use a phrase suitable for continuation rather than cause-effect] Hence, lecture[k5: missing article]the lecture again contradicts[k2: tautology — idea already implied earlier] this theory // This further weakens the theory, proving [k2: redundant with ‘contradicts’]reinforcing traditional models of adaptation.

Finally, the professor explains untruthfulness[k3: lexical choice — awkward and uncommon noun]the inaccuracy of the theory using blinking as an example, where it rose[k4: verb choice — 'arose' is preferred for this context]arose independently, indicating that It[k5: capitalization]it wasn’t to prepare for land, it was a reaction//response on[k4: preposition — should be 'to']to their current habitat.

In this way, the lecture objects[k4: verb misuse — should be 'challenges' or 'refutes']challenges the ideas in the text by providing real-life studies that demonstrate [k2: tautology with next phrase]support how they were wrong.

to object to smth/smb

TOEFL Integrated Writing_Global Warming

The text under analysis states that global warming may be not [k4: incorrect word order] may not be as negative as everyone thought [k4: wrong tense] thinks. It explains that temperatures increasing [k4: inaccurate noun phrase] a temperature rise leads to many positive outcomes.

The passage argues that global warming may not be as harmful as commonly assumed and claims that a temperature rise could yield several benefits.

The lecture elaborates on that idea, illustrating it with a few specific examples of how cons made in reading make other problems [k3: inaccurate word choice + k2: lack of coherence] the points made in the reading are problematic.

The lecturer challenges these claims with specific counterexamples, showing that the reading’s arguments are flawed and overlook important complications.

Firstly, the writer describes a theory that states that warmer temperatures will help agriculture in cold regions. For example, in Russia and Canada, where in certain regions plants cannot grow cause [k1: wrong word form/informal for 'because'] because of very low temperatures. Writer [k4: missing article] The writer thinks that global warming may help them. But the speaker shows how many problems that may bring [k3: unnatural phrasing] how many problems this could cause, demonstrating that writer [k4: missing article] the writer ignored the negative impact that agriculture in warmer places will feel [k3: lexical mistake + k2: ineffective cohesion] will be subject to. It leads to [k2: poor cohesion] which can be droughts, floods, and other temperature problems [k3: inaccurate word choice] climate-related issues.

The reading claims that higher temperatures would boost agriculture in colder regions such as parts of Russia and Canada; however, the lecturer argues that warming would impose droughts, floods, and other climate-related stresses on currently temperate zones, offsetting any gains./

Secondly, the author of the text mentions another positive aspect in which the mortality rates will fall[k2: poor cohesion/k2: coherence] which is a decrease in mortality rates because many deaths proceeds [k4: wrong verb form] occur in cold weather. Again, the lecturer says the opposite. He states that mortality rates will not change or could even grow because many people will die from heat. For example, harts of people with cardio problems or elder people [k4: wrong adjective form ('elder')+ k3: faulty parallelism/logical mismatch] people with cardiovascular diseases or the elderly are in a big risk [k3: unnatural collocation] at high risk, and also warmer temperatures may increase many diseases [k3: inaccurate collocation] increase the incidence of many diseases as [k4: wrong preposition] such as malaria. As a result, proving [k4: wrong verbal form – dangling modifier or cut off sentence] this proves that one problem may disappear but other one [k4: wrong article] another could increase [k2: unclear logical relation – suggests possibility of growth without clear cause-effect link] could worsen.

The passage predicts lower mortality because many deaths happen in cold weather; the lecturer counters that heat waves can raise death rates—especially among the elderly and patients with cardiovascular disease—and that warming may spread illnesses such as malaria.

Finally, the professor explains inadequacy [k4: wrong article] the inadequacy of writer’s [k4: missing article] the writer’s statement that global warming will create shipping routes and expose reserves of natural resources because ice in Arctic [k4: wrong article] the Arctic will melt. He speaks [k3: inaccurate verb choice] explains that infrastructure development in this region is very tough [k1: style – use more formal synonym] difficult and ice melting may bring many other problems. For example?

The professor also disputes the claim that Arctic ice loss would unlock easy shipping lanes and resource extraction, noting that infrastructure in the far north is costly and hazardous, and melting ice introduces additional environmental and navigational risks.

In this way, the lecture objects [k3: inaccurate word choice] opposes the ideas in the text by providing other effects [k3: inaccurate collocation] pointing out other effects that will lead to bigger problems and showing inadequacy [k3: inaccurate word choice] the weakness of writer’s [k4: missing article] the writer’s thoughts.

Overall, the lecture directly contradicts the reading by highlighting overlooked risks and demonstrating that the proposed benefits are outweighed by likely negative consequences.

Mark: Under ETS TOEFL Integrated Writing rubrics, the essay would likely score around 2.5–3/5 due to frequent language errors and cohesion problems despite covering the main points

Toefl_Independent Writing

While I appreciate Steve's view, I would agree [k1: style – hedge/verbosity] I agree with Cloe. [k5: spelling+ poor cohesion=> syntactical mistake] Chloe Indeed, [k3: redundancy/wordiness]  -- offering incentives to the general population for reducing individual carbon footprints will be more valuable that [k4: wrong word – comparison] than focusing on large corporations. Firstly [k1: style – use "First"] First, people must change, and then the world will too.

/I acknowledge Steve’s perspective, but I agree with Chloe: incentivizing individuals to cut their carbon footprints is more effective than concentrating solely on corporations./

While Steve raised a relevant topic [k3: inaccurate word choice – use "point"] point about companies that make [k3: inaccurate verb – collocation] make up /constitute/account for/ are responsible for 70% of global carbon emissions, he did not mention that not much people will not support [k4: quantifier error + k2: double negation/logic] not many people will support government decision [k4: number – should be plural] government decisions about stricter emission laws for fabrics [k3: wrong word (confused with "factories")] for factories. This will happen [k1: style – unnecessary future] happens because not many citizens are interested in making our planet cleaner [k1: style – overly informal/absolute claim] many citizens are not sufficiently engaged in environmental protection. Only if they change, other changes [k3: tautology/repetition] will work. Public behavior must change before other measures can be effective. And incentives can help people to be eco-friendlier [k3: comparative form/collocation] more eco‑friendly.

/Although Steve notes that corporations account for a large share of emissions, public support for stricter factory regulations may be limited; incentives can motivate individuals to adopt more eco‑friendly behavior, building broader support for policy change./

For example, I did not care much about pollution, but everything changed when our class went to the volunteering event [k1: article/awkward phrasing] a volunteer event and I found out that we are in big ecologic [k5: word form] environmental danger. After this event I started trying to prevent pollution as I can [k4: wrong tense/formula – use "as much as I can"] as much as I can. I would not go [k4: wrong form – conditional perfect needed] have gone there and maybe still would not knew [k4: wrong tense] not have known about pollution problems if attending this event did not offered [k4: wrong verb form] had not offered point [k4: wrong number] points to [k4: wrong preposition] toward an exam score.

/A personal example: I became more engaged after a class volunteer event revealed the severity of environmental risks; the extra credit offered for participation motivated me to attend./

In conclusion, only changes in people may lead to other changes [k3: tautology/repetition] transformations in individual behavior are essential for broader societal shifts, but of course they will not do it [k3: vague pronoun reference] make these changes without stimulation [k3: inaccurate word choice] incentives, and the government can give them it [k4: word order/pronoun placement] give it to them.

/In sum, motivating individuals through incentives can catalyze broader environmental progress, and governments are well positioned to provide those incentives./

Integrated_writing_neuronetworks;

Independent_writing

I would say that both Luise and Lucas are right in their opinions[k3: collocation]make valid points.

While Luise mentioned a relevant topic[k3: collocation — prefer “raised a relevant point”]raised a relevant point about using ai[k5: capitalization]AI without losing your[k3: register — avoid 2nd person in academic writing]one’s ability to think, she did not mention that not everyone is so[k4: comparative construction — use “as … as”]as honest as her[k4: case/ellipsis — “as honest as she (is)”]she is. Many people might cheat and artificial intelligence will do[k3: style — concision]let AI do all the work for them.

Lucas added right thought[k3: unnatural phrasing]added an important point to Luise’s opinion, and agree[k4: missing subject/tense]I agree with him. Universities must set clear guidelines on acceptability of using[k3: collocation]the acceptable use of ai[k5: capitalization]AI. For example, I I can say[k3: register — anecdotal lead‑in preferred]In my experience that[k5: redundancy after discourse marker] without strict rules aimed on[k4: preposition]aimed at ai[k3: specificity; k5: capitalization]limiting the use of AI in homework and during lessons in my school, many students were cheating[k4: tense/aspect — use habitual past for repeated behaviour]would cheat and technologies[k4: countability — “technology” is usually uncountable]technology did all the work for them./In my experience, in the absence of explicit policies restricting AI use for homework and in-class tasks, many students at my school would outsource their work to AI./

Finally, I think that ai[k5: capitalization]AI is a very progressive[k3: word choice]powerful tool that must be taught to use[k4: missing subject — who must be taught?]students must be taught to use, but only with strict rules. Maybe universities and schools can even make lessons[k3: collocation]create courses about how to use it properly.

/Both speakers raise valid concerns: maintain independent thinking and enforce academic integrity, while establishing transparent policies for the acceptable use of AI. In my view, AI is valuable only when institutions teach responsible use and prevent students from offloading their work to machines./